Bismillahi rahmani rahim

Assalam alaikum warahmatullah wabarakatu

This is a piece I came across, it is so inspiring I couldn't not share it.

Her cheeks were worn and sunken, and her skin hugged her bones. That didn't stop her because you could never catch her not reciting Qur'an. She was always vigil in her personal prayer room that our father had set up for her. Bowing, prostrating, raising her hands in prayer, was the way she was from dawn to sunset and back again; boredom was for other people.

As for me, I craved nothing more than fashion magazines and novels. I treated myself to videos until the trips to the rental place became my trademark. It’s a saying that when something becomes habit, people tend to distinguish you by it. I was negligent in my responsibilities and my salah was characterized by laziness.

One night, after a long three hours of watching, I turned the video off. The adhan rose softly in the quiet night. I slipped peacefully into my blanket. Her voice called me from her prayer room. 

"Yes? Would you like anything Noorah?" I asked. 

With a sharp needle she popped my plans. 

"Don't sleep before you pray Fajr!" Agghh! 

“There's still an hour before Fajr. That was only the first adhan,” I said. 

With those loving pinches of hers, she called me closer. She was like that even before the fierce sickness shook her spirit and shut her in bed. "Hanan, can you come sit beside me." I could never refuse any of her requests; you could touch the purity and sincerity in her. 

"Yes, Noorah?"

"Please sit here."

"Alright, I’m sitting. What's on your mind?"

With the sweetest mono voice she began reciting: Every soul shall taste death and you will merely be repaid your earnings on the Day of Resurrection. She stopped thoughtfully. Then she asked, "Do you believe in death?" "Of course I do,” I replied.

"Do you believe that you shall be responsible for whatever you do, regardless of how small or large?"

"I do, but Allah is Forgiving and Merciful, and I’ve got a long life waiting for me." 

"Stop it Hanan! Are you not afraid of death and its abruptness? Take a look at Hind. She was younger than you but she died in a car accident. Death is age-blind and your age could never be a measure of when you shall die."

The darkness of the room filled my skin with fear. "I'm scared of the dark and now you made me scared of death. How am I supposed to go to sleep now? Noorah, I thought you promised you'd go with us on vacation during the summer break." Her voice broke and her heart quivered. "I might be going on a long trip this year Hanan, but somewhere else. All of our lives are in Allah’s hands and we all belong to Him."

My eyes welled and the tears slipped down both cheeks. I pondered my sisters grizzly sickness. The doctors had informed my father in private that there was not much hope Noorah was going to outlive the disease. She wasn't told, so I wondered who hinted to her. Or was it that she could sense the truth?

"What are you thinking about Hanan?" Her voice was sharp. "Do you think I am just saying this because I am sick? I hope not. In fact, I may live longer than people who are not sick. How long are you going to live Hanan? Perhaps twenty years? Maybe forty? Then what?" Through the dark she reached for my hand and squeezed gently. "There's no difference between us; we're all going to leave this world to live in Paradise or agonize in Hell. Listen to the words of Allah: Anyone who is pushed away from the Fire and shown into Jannah will have triumphed.

I left my sister's room dazed, her words ringing in my ears: “May Allah guide you Hanan - don't forget your prayer.” I heard pounding on my door at eight o'clock in the morning. I don't usually wake up at this time. There was crying and confusion. O Allah, what happened? Noorah’s condition became critical after Fajr; they took her to the hospital immediately.

"Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'oon"

There wasn't going to be any trips this summer. It was written that I would spend the summer at home. It felt like an eternity had gone by when it was one o'clock in the afternoon. Mother phoned the hospital. "Yes. You can come and see her now." Dad's voice had changed, and mother could sense something had gone deathly wrong. We left immediately.

Where was that avenue I used to travel and thought was so short? Why was it so very long now? Where was the cherished crowd and traffic that would give me a chance to gaze left and right? Everyone, just move out of our way!

Mother was shaking her head in her hands crying as she made du'a for her Noorah. We arrived at the hospital’s main entrance. One man was moaning, while another was involved in an accident. A third man’s eyes were iced. You couldn’t tell if he was dead or alive. Noorah was in intensive care. We skipped stairs to her floor. The nurse approached us. "Let me take you to her."

As we walked down the aisles the nurse went on expressing how sweet of a girl Noorah was. She somewhat reassured Mother that Noorah’s condition had gotten better than what it was in the morning. "Sorry. No more than one visitor at a time,” the nurse said. This was the intensive care unit. Past the flurry white robes, through the small window in the door, I caught my sister’s eyes. Mother was standing beside her. After about two minutes, mother came out unable to control her crying. "You may enter and say salaam to her on the condition that you do not speak too long," they told me. "Two minutes should be enough."

"How are you Noorah? You were fine last night sister, what happened?"

We held hands; she squeezed harmlessly. "Even now, alhamdulillah, I'm doing fine."

"Alhamdulillah...but...your hands are so cold."

I sat on her bedside and rested my fingers on her knee. She jerked it away. "Sorry, did I hurt you?"

"No, it is just that I remembered Allah's words.”

Waltafatul saaqu bil saaq (One leg will be wrapped to the other leg [in the death shroud]).

"Hanan pray for me. I may be meeting the first day of the Hereafter very soon. It’s a long journey and I haven't prepared enough good deeds in my suitcase."

A tear escaped my eye and ran down my cheek at her words. I cried and she joined me. The room blurred away and left us two sisters to cry together. Rivulets of tears splashed down on my sister’s palm, which I held with both hands. Dad was now becoming more worried about me. I've never cried like that before.

At home and upstairs in my room, I watched the sun pass away with a sorrowful day. Silence mingled in our corridors. One after another, my cousins came in my room. The visitors were many and all the voices from downstairs stirred together. Only one thing was clear at that point – Noorah had died! I stopped distinguishing who came and who went. I couldn't remember what they said. O Allah, where was I? What was going on? I couldn't even cry anymore.

Later that week they told me what had happened. Dad had taken my hand to say goodbye to my sister for the last time. I had kissed Noorah's head. I remember only one thing while seeing her spread on that bed – the bed that she was going to die on. I remembered the verse she recited: One leg will be wrapped to the other leg (in the death shroud). And I knew too well the truth of the next verse: The drive on that day will be to your Lord (Allah)!

I tiptoed into her prayer room that night. Staring at the quiet dressers and silenced mirrors, I treasured the person that had shared my mother's stomach with me. Noorah was my twin sister. I remembered who I had swapped sorrows with, who comforted my rainy days. I remembered who prayed for my guidance and who spent so many tears for many long nights telling me about death and accountability. May Allah save us all.

Tonight is Noorah's first night that she shall spend in her tomb. O Allah, have mercy on her and illumine her grave. This was her Qur'an and her prayer mat. And this was the spring, rose-colored dress that she told me she would hide until she got married; the dress she wanted to keep just for her husband.

I remembered my sister and cried over all the days that I had lost. I prayed to Allah to have mercy on me, accept me and forgive me. I prayed to Allah to keep her firm in her grave as she always liked to mention in her supplications. At that moment, I stopped. I asked myself what if it was I who had died. Where would I be moving on to? Fear pressed me and the tears began all over again.

“Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar…” The first adhan rose softly from the masjid. It sounded so beautiful this time. I felt calm and relaxed as I repeated the mu’adhin’s call. I wrapped the shawl around my shoulders and stood to pray Fajr. I prayed as if it was my last prayer, a farewell prayer, just like Noorah had done yesterday. It had been her last Fajr.

Now, and in sha Allah for the rest of my life, if I awake in the morning I do not count on being alive by evening, and in the evening I do not count on being alive by morning. We are all going on Noorah's journey. What have we prepared for it?

Muhammad Alshareef's final speech at the 1999 MYNA East Zone Conference.

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

By Yasmin Mogahed 

One hundred years from now, it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove…but the world may be different because I was important in the life of a child. This anonymous poem reflects much of the sentiment taught by our beloved Prophet 1400 years ago.

The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, "If the son of Adam dies, his actions are ceased except three: A continuing charity, knowledge which benefits others, or a righteous son who supplicates for him" [Muslim] In our graves, our wealth will be of no benefit to us. The success of our careers, and the level of our degrees will be of no value. How well we raised our children will. And yet so much of our time, so much of our learning and our efforts are spent for the sake of those things, which are fleeting.

In another hadith the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, "A servant will have his rank raised and will say: ‘Lord, how has this come about for me?’ Allah replies, ‘Through your children’s du'a for you.’ "[Ahmed and Ibn Majah] When we leave this world, what will we leave behind? What mark will we make? What will we send forward? What will we take? Our children will inherit this life. In their hands may lay our ultimate salvation or our ultimate ruin. In their hands may lay the ultimate salvation or ruin of our Ummah. Shouldn’t something that important demand our full attention? Shouldn’t we examine ourselves and do our utmost to perfect this crucial skill: PARENTING.

DO NOT IMPOSE – INSTILL LOVE EARLY

Imagine a child raised in a home where, aside from some cultural norms, Islam is essentially irrelevant. Parents are not serious about salah and whatever Islamic practice they do perform is done more out of ethnic customs than Islam. Now imagine the child reaching puberty. A girl who was never really instilled with Islam before, is now forced to wear hijab. A boy whose life was never centered around Islam is now made to attend Salat Al-Jumuah . Will it surprise anyone if those kids rebel?

Consider, on the other hand, a child who was raised knowing and loving the Quran, was taken to the masjid early on, and performed salah alongside his parents. Would hijab or Salat Al-Jumuah need to be imposed? Or would it only be a natural extension for a child whose very nature is Islam? Instill and reinforce love for Allah and His Messenger from the day your children are born.

KILL YOUR TELEVISION AND VIDEO GAMES

Many parents monitor what their children watch, but not how much. No matter how much you monitor, these things are still harmful for a number of reasons. First, watching television is a learned habit that does not disappear in adulthood. A young child could agree to watch Sesame Street. But chances are, a teenager will not. And few could disagree that television programs designed for teenagers and adults contain far from Islamically appropriate content. Secondly, consider the number of hours that are easily eaten up by TV and video games. Children can literally stay up the entire night playing a video game in order to advance to a higher level. Consider the words of our Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) concerning the importance of time: "The feet of a servant will not turn away on the Day of Judgment until he is asked about four things: his lifetime, how he lived it; his youth, how he spent it; his wealth, from where he earned it and on what he spent it, and his knowledge and how he acted on it." [Tirmidhi]

Lastly, studies show that irrespective of content, children who spend a lot of time with television and video games are more aggressive, less likely to read, and more likely to develop attention problems, such as attention deficit disorder.

SPOIL YOUR KIDS WITH LOVE, TIME, AND ATTENTION

One unfortunately pervasive myth is that giving children “too much” love, time and affection “spoils” them. This could not be farther from the truth. It is trying to give them other things to replace your love, time and affection, which in fact spoils them. Children who are spoiled with love and attention become the most generous, loving and giving of people. Those from whom this love and attention was withheld, often become narrow-hearted and unwilling to give.

No one was more merciful and showed more affection to children than our beloved Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him). He was once visited by a man named Al-Aqra ibn Hâbis. He lifted his grandson, Hassan, placed him on his lap and kissed him. Al-Aqra remarked, “I have 10 children and I have not kissed a single one of them.” This was a point of pride, manhood—that one is not soft, that one is tough.

DO NOT REWARD FOR ACTS OF WORSHIP

Do not pay your children to fast, or promise them large gifts if they pray. Instill in them a love for Allah that will motivate them internally to perform salah and fast. Social psychologists have shown that when people are given external rewards or motivation to do some activity, they enjoy doing that activity less and are less motivated, than if they are given no external reward but the reward is internally motivated.

START ATTACHMENT EARLY

Practice attachment parenting early on. When your children are young, let them sleep next to you, and carry them often. Research shows that doing these things does NOT spoil the child, but creates a secure attachment between the parent and child that allows the child to succeed better as an adult. This attachment is a fundamental precursor to successful parenting because without it you cannot fully instill Islam. Consider, for example, the relationship between the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and his daughter Fatimah. From very early on, she maintained a close relationship with her father who thereby conveyed his mission to her.

ATTACHMENT IS THE FIRST STEP TO DISCIPLINE

If a secure attachment is created early on between the parent and child, discipline will easily follow. If the parent maintains this closeness with the child and shows consistent love and approval, the child will avoid doing things that would disappoint or jeopardize that relationship. Discipline should not and would not need to be done with a stick, but would rather flow naturally. If the relationship were based on love and respect, the child would be motivated by the desire to maintain that respect.

BUILD YOUR CHILD'S SELF-ESTEEM

Make sure your children know how precious they are. Tell them whenever possible how good and how smart they are. Make sure they know what a gift they are and how important they are as a person. Let them know that they can have the ability to change the world, and show them how much faith and hope you have in them. A child who is told he is a failure will always be a failure. And only a child who thinks he can change the world, ever will.

Al-Jumuah Magazine

Bismillahi rahmani rahim

Assalam alaikum warahmatullah wabarakatu 

Lecture by Yasir Qadhi | Transcribed by Sameera

[ The following is the video playlist and transcript Shaykh Yasir Qadhi’s lecture series “The Best of Stories: Pearls from Surah Yusuf.” The tr

anscript includes slight modifications for the sake of readability and clarity. ]

INTRODUCTION

I welcome you all to the first of a series of halaqat that we will have about the tafsir or the explanation of one of the most interesting, powerful, and moving surahs in the entire Qur’an, which is Surah Yusuf. This surah is a very, very unique  surah in the Qur’an, and a one-of-a-type of surah.

Firstly, it is the only place in the Qur’an where the story of the Prophet Yusuf (‘alayhi salaam ) is mentioned. No other surah mentions the story of the Prophet Yusuf (‘alayhi salaam ). If you compare this to, let’s say, the story of the Prophet Musa (‘alayhi salaam ), the story of Prophet Musa is mentioned in over 25 different locations. The story of our father Adam (‘alayhi salaam ) is mentioned in over half a dozen locations. The story of ‘Isa (‘alayhi salaam ) is mentioned almost a dozen times. The story of the Prophet Yusuf (‘alayhi salaam ) only exists in this surah. In fact, even the name of the Prophet Yusuf occurs only once or twice in passing in Surah Al-An‘ām and Surah Ghaafir, but there is no story at all. The stories about what happened with the Yusuf (‘alayhi salaam ) only occur in this particular surah.

Secondly, it is the only surah in the Qur’an that has a unified story as its theme from the beginning to the end. The whole surah is nothing but a story. There is no other surah of length in the Qur’an – we are not talking about the small surahs at the end of Juz ‘Amma , but we are talking about any surah basically more than 10-15 ayah s – there is no surah in the whole Qur’an that is a unified story from the beginning to the end. This is something that we all know. Read Surah Al-Baqarah , Surah Ale-‘Imran , and Surah Yunus you will find the stories of lots of people in one paragraph or one page or sometimes even five pages, but there is no place in the whole Qur’an where an entire 15 pages is dedicated to one story. It is a chronological story from the beginning to the end. This is not just very rare but unique. There is no other place like it in the whole Qur’an.

REVELATION OF SURAH YUSUF

We do not know the exact date of when this surah was revealed, but we know roughly that it was revealed around the tenth or eleventh year not of the hijrah but of the years of the daw’ah.

In other words, with the hijrah of course we begin the Madinan phase. Before the hijrah , what do we call it? Some scholars used the term ‘BH’ (before hijrah ) just like the Christians have ‘AD’ and ‘BC’, Muslims have ‘AH’ and ‘BH’. So if you look at ‘BH’, 1 BH means one year before the hijrah and 2 BH means two years before the hijrah . Surah Yusuf is revealed around 2 or 3 BH, in other words right at the end of the Makkan era and the Makkan message.

The timing of revelation is very crucial. Surah Yusuf was revealed after the famous year called the Year of Sorrow / the Year or Regret / the Year of Difficulty (‘aam al-huzn). In that year, three things happened one after the other which were the most painful for the Prophet Muhammad (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam), and there was no time in the seerah where the Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) was more demoralized than this period, which is why the scholars of seerah call this period ‘aam al-huzn, the Year of Grief. The Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) was feeling grief throughout that year.

What happened? What makes it worse is that these three things happened one after the other. The first of these three devastating things was the most personal and intimate, and that was the death of Khadijah (alayhi salaam). Khadijah (alayhi salaam) was his supporter and his moral source of strength.

As they say, behind every great man there is a great woman, and this is exactly applying to the Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) and Khadijah. She was his source of comfort and support. Whenever anything happened and even when the wahy came down and he was scared, he went running back to Khadijah (alayhi salaam) to be calmed down. “Zambilooni! Zambilooni! (Cover me up! Cover me up!)” Khadijah was his source of comfort and his source of support.

When a man has that comfort and love inside the house, he is able to face a lot outside. When that is deprived of him, then the problems outside become more difficult to bear. The death of Khadijah (‘alayhi salaam) was something that was very difficult for him.

Within five or six weeks, a second death followed and that was the death of his uncle Abu Talib. Abu Talib was his support in society. Abu Talib sacrificed his own reputation and prestige in order to protect the Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam). When the Quraysh came to bribe, threaten, and intimidate the Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam), initially Abu Talib was scared and went to him (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) and told him to stop doing this. The Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) said, “If they were to give me control of the sun and the moon, I would not give up what I am doing.” Abu Talib said, “Oh son of my brother, oh my nephew, do as you please, I am never going to come to you again to tell you not to do this.” He was a man of his word for ten years, and not once did he approach the Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) after that. He never came and said ‘why did you do this?’ / ‘look what I have to face now.’ Not once. He was a man of his word.

Abu Talib did everything he could, so much so that when the Quraysh boycotted the Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) and told him he must leave Makkah, Abu Talib went with the Muslims to live in the valleys outside of Makkah. Abu Talib was not a subject of that boycott because he was a pagan and a Qurayshi and a mushrik , but because he was a part of his nephew and loved him so much, he voluntarily went to live with the Muslims at the time of the boycott.

He was the only non-Muslim to live with the Muslims at the time of boycott. He voluntarily gave up his privileges and his house in Makkah and gave up everything and suffered along with the Muslims because he felt that this was injustice and that he had to do this as the uncle and protector of the Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam). He did everything he could. As long as Abu Talib was alive, they could not do anything else to harm the Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam). With his death, the persecution reached its max, which is why eventually the Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) had to leave for Madinah because he could not live in Makkah anymore.

Khadijah was his internal support in the house. Abu Talib was his external support in society. The both of them died one after the other, and it was a very difficult time for the Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam). To make matters worse, he suffered the single most depressing or difficult day of his whole life after the deaths of Khadijah and Abu Talib. As if there could be no low, there was one low after that, which was the incident of Ta’if.

Aisha ( radhi Allahu ‘anha ) said, “Oh Messenger of Allah, was there any day that was more difficult for you to bear than the Day of Uhud?” He (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam)  said, “Yes.” Aisha was too young to know anything about Makkah and did not remember Makkah. She knows Badr, Uhud, and Tabuk and the problems of Madinah and that the worst problem of Madinah was Uhud, so she asked, “Was there any day more difficult for you than Uhud?” Immediately without thinking, the Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) said, “The most difficult day for me was the day when I was rejected by the chieftains of Ta’if.” You all know the story, and we will talk about it in a lot of detail insha’Allah in the lectures we will start on the seerah . The Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) was humiliated and publicly scorned and the children of Ta’if stoned him. This day was the most difficult for him.

These three incidents occurred within six weeks of one other – within two months, as if things could not get any worse. At this point in time, Allah ( subhanahu wata’ala ) revealed Surah Yusuf. When we understand this frame of revelation, all of a sudden the significance of Surah Yusuf increases many times. Why? Surah Yusuf is meant to uplift his spirits ( sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam ) and console him and strengthen him at a time of such trials and tribulations. Surah Yusuf is the light that will lead him out of this depressing time and time of pain and anguish. This is hope for us when we are feeling down and suffering from problems of society. 

This is the surah that we can turn to for an uplifting moment and to find some solace and comfort, which is why Allah revealed it to our Prophet ( sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam ).

Still to continue In Shaa Allah... 

Bismillahi rahmani rahim

Assalam alaikum warahmatullah wabarakatu

When my third daughter was born, I was overtaken by joy. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) promised Paradise for those who care for their daughters and fears Allah regarding them. I was so happy about having a girl again that I bought doughnuts for everyone and took them to `ishaa’ prayer. A brother came to me that night and asked, “Oh what happened? Is there some good news?” I replied, “Yes! It’s a Girl!” He looked at me and said, “Insha Allah next time!” as if it wasn’t good news because I didn’t have a boy.

I was so upset that I wanted to slap the brother across the face. That is what idol worshippers in Makkah would have said! That is what people who don’t believe in Allah would have said! The fact that I had my third daughter, allows me to celebrate the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). What bigger congratulations could there be?!

Do not miss this great video. Ustadh Nouman Khan discusses the ugly attitude of hating girls and feeling depressed at their birth.

Unfortunately, many Muslim families succumb to this feeling; their treatment of girls even aggravates when the baby girl grows up. The verses and hadiths quoted in this Sermon show the strong position of Islam against all the traces of this attitude; girls are a blessing from Allah to be received with gratitude and loving care.

By Ustadh Nouman Ali Khan 👇👇 The Link  https://youtu.be/0vRY_frjdfU

Bismillah ir-rahman ir-rahim

Assalam alaikum warahmatullah wabarakatu 

Abū Hurayrah relates that Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “I have only been sent to perfect good moral character.” [Musnad Ahmad (8595)] and the purpose of all the revealed books has always been inner purification. From the relationship with Allah to the relationship with fellow human beings, the environment and animals, wild and domestic. A complete way of life.

Humility is one of the best and noblest of characteristics, it was the attitude of all the Prophets of Allah and the way of the closest friends of Allah and the righteous. That is being kind to people, lowering the wing of humility to them and trying to meet their needs and wants.

It was narrated from Abu Sa’eed al-Khudri (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "The most perfect of the believers in faith is the one who is best in attitude and humble, who get along with others and others get along with them, and there is no good in the one who does not get along with others and they do not get along with him.” Narrated by al-Tabaraani in al-Awsat (2/268); classed as hasan by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah (751).

Muhammad (peace be upon him) lived humbly all his life and never boasted of his social or political position either before or after his successes in Medinah. Once, on a journey, a few of the companions decided to slaughter a goat for a meal. They divided the work among themselves; one was to slaughter it, another to remove its skin, yet another to do the cooking. Muhammad (peace be upon him) said that he would collect the wood for cooking. His companions said that they would do his work as well. He replied, "I know that you will do it quite willingly but I do not like to have an eminent position in the assembly and Allah also does not like it."'

One of the greatest qualities of those who are humble is that they accept gifts no matter what their value, and they do not look at their value or whether the giver could have fforded something better than that, rather one should accept it and appreciate it, and feel that the true gift is the love that motivated them to give, not the value of the gift.

The leader of mankind, the Seal of the Prophets and Messengers, our Beloved Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), despite his high status and lofty position, would accept a gift even if it was a sheep’s foot or a drink of milk. It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "If I were invited to a meal of a sheep’s foot I would accept, and if I were given a sheep’s foot as a gift, I would accept.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5178).

Al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar (may Allah have mercy on him) said in Fath al-Baari (9/245-246): The karaa’ (translated here as sheep’s foot) is the narrow part of the leg and the words refers to the feet of cows and sheep, as opposed to the hooves of camels and horses.This hadeeth is indicative of the good attitude of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and his humility, and his desire to make people happy by accepting gifts and responding when a man invited him to his home, even if he knew that what he was inviting him to was something small. This is encouragement to keep in touch with one another, love one another, make friends with one another, and accept invitations great and small, and to accept gifts likewise.

Humility may mean various things, such as.

1. A person humbling himself to the commands and prohibitions of Allaah, doing what He commands and avoiding what He forbids. Ibn al-Qayyim said: Because a person may hesitate to obey His commands out of laziness, thus behaving in a reluctant way in an attempt to flee from servitude towards Allah, and his soul may have the desire to commit haraam actions, but when the person humbles himself to the commands and prohibitions of Allaah, he will humble himself to true submission (‘uboodiyyah). Al-Rooh p. 233.

2. Humbling oneself before the might, majesty and power of Allah. Ibn al-Qayyim said: Every time he feels that he is great, he remembers the might of Allah and that might belongs to Him only, and he remembers His intense anger against those who compete with Him in that, then he humbles himself before Him and submits to the might of Allah. This is the ultimate humility and inevitably includes the first type of humility mentioned above, but the converse can never apply (i.e., this type of humility inevitably leads to the first type, but a person may submit to the commands and prohibitions of Allah but he does not humble himself before His might). The one who is truly humble is the one who is blessed with both. And Allah is the One Whose help we seek. Al-Rooh , p. 233.

3. Humility in one’s dress and manner of walking. It was narrated from Ibn ‘Umar that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Whilst a man was letting his garment drag out of pride, he was swallowed up by the earth and will continue sinking in it until the Day of Resurrection.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3297. It was also narrated by al-Bukhaari (5452) and Muslim (2088) from the hadeeth of Abu Hurayrah. According to the version narrated by al-Bukhaari: “Whilst a man was walking in a garment admiring himself with his hair nicely combed, Allah caused (the earth) to swallow him up and he will continue sinking in it until the Day of Resurrection.”

4. Humility towards one who is of a lesser status and helping him. It was narrated that al-Bara’ ibn ‘Aazib said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) was moving soil with us on the day of al-Ahzaab, and I saw him with dust covering the whiteness of his stomach, and he (the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)) was saying, “(O Allaah)! Without You, we would not have been guided, nor would we have given in charity, nor would we have prayed. So (O Allah!) send tranquility (Sakeenah) upon us as they (the chiefs of the enemy tribes) have rebelled against us. And if they intend affliction (i.e. want to frighten us and fight against us) then we would not (flee but would withstand them).” And he raised his voice whilst saying it. Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6809; Muslim, 1803.

5. Humility in interactions with one’s wife and helping her. It was narrated that al-Aswad said: I asked ‘Aa’ishah what the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) used to do in his house, and she said: He used to serve his family and when the time for prayer came he would go out and pray. Al-Bukhaari, 644. Al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar said: This shows that we are encouraged to be humble and not arrogant, and that a man should serve his family. Fath al-Baari , 2/163.

6. Humility towards the young and joking with them.

It was narrated that Anas said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) was the best of people in character. I had a brother whose name was Abu ‘Umayr. He said, I think he was weaned, and when he (the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)) came he would say, “O Abu Umayr, what happened to the nughayr (a small bird that he kept as a pet)?” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5850; Muslim, 2150. Al-Nawawi said: The nughayr is a small bird. This hadeeth teaches us many things, such as being kind to small children. This demonstrates the good character of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and how he was of noble character and humble. Sharh Muslim , 14/129

7. Humility towards servants and slaves. It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “If the servant of one of you brings his food and he does not want to make him sit and eat with him, then let him offer him a morsel or two, because he has prepared it and served it.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 2418 and 5144; Muslim, 1663.

Humility is not thinking less if yourself, it is thinking of yourself less. Be humble. We ask Allah to make us among those who humble themselves before His might.

And Allah knows best.

[Adopted]

Bismillah ir-rahman ir-rahim

Assalam alaikum warahmatullah wabarakatu 

This is another lecture that is transcribe from Mufti Ismail Menk for our benefit In Sha Allah. May Allah grant him and his family and all of us understanding of our Deen. Ameen. 

Justice for All: Who Will Be Bankrupt In Allah Subhanahu wa taala's Court? There is a Hadeeth where Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “On the day of Qiyamah, there will come a person who is bankrupt”- in fact, he asked a question: “Do you know who a bankrupt person is?” The Sahabah said: “Well, according to us, a person who doesn’t have Dirhams and Dinars, or gold or silver, is a bankrupt person.” In our terms, perhaps, it’s someone who doesn’t have dollars and pounds. It is a fact that someone who doesn’t have material things is a bankrupt person. Rasool Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “No, it is a person who comes on the Day of Judgement with a lot of Salah, with a lot of Zakah, and with a lot of acts of worship.”

You know, if I heard that, I would think I am hearing wrong. The bankrupt person on the Day of Judgement is someone with a lot of prayers, a lot of worship, and lots of acts of charity! A lot! How can that person be bankrupt? The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) continued: “And then when they are standing in front of Allah Subhanahu wa taala with all these deeds, they have backbitten this one, gossiped about that one, slandered this one, eaten the wealth of the other, deceived another, and harmed another and so on. So Allah takes away these good deeds one by one as a payment because on that day, the currency will be deeds.”

The payback is in the form of your good deeds. Such as salah in the first row - gone, zakah - gone, hajj - gone, fasting - gone, all the good deeds - gone. What happens thereafter? There are still so many people waiting for their rights. The Prophet of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “There will come a time when that man has nothing remaining and the people in front still want their right. Allah will say: Take their sins and put them on his shoulder.” So the sins are put on the shoulder of the individual who violated somebody’s rights. He was the one who used to read Salah in the first row; he was the charitable one; he was the pious one according to the whole world; but because he usurped the rights of the fellow human beings and disregarded them completely, he is going to pay for that. When he went, he went with a lot and as he is progressing on that day (in fact, there is no progress, he is going back) because he has lost everything and on top of that, he has got sins committed by other people. May Allah Subhanahu wa taala) forgive us. Ameen.

So, this is the clear Hadeeth that explains the importance of fulfilling the rights of fellow human beings. We need to make sure that we are humble; and remember, it doesn’t mean that you fulfill the rights of those who are pious alone. No! It doesn’t mean you fulfill the rights of the Muslims alone. Whether they are sinful, whether they are non-Muslims, no matter who they are and what they have done, they have rights! So much so, it doesn’t stop at human beings! In fact, it continues to all the creatures of Allah, including the ecosystem. Subhan’Allah!

May Allah Subhanahu wa taala have mercy on us and may He open the doors on us. Ameen. I hope the explanation would help in understanding the importance of fulfilling the rights of fellow human beings; and how actually, these are the fruits that are seen clearly on the person who is really close to Allah Subhanahu wa taala.

And Allah knows best.

Bismillah ir-rahman ir-rahim

Assalam alaykum warahmatullah wabarakatu 

And we finish up with the last post...

And so I come now to, as my talk winds down, I wanted to share with you some very practical immediate things that all of us can do, my self also. I personally believe that Islamic education needs to experience a revolution. That's my personal beliefs. That the Islamic education needs to experience a revolution. What do I mean by that? There’s Islamic studies for the ‘Alim. The ‘Alim will study fiqh, hadith, tafseer, aqidah, they will study all of these things and they will become an ‘Alim. And they will study them at the very high level. But there’s a level underneath that, we need to create actually, it doesn’t really exist too much yet. We need to create it, a level of learning Islam just for daily practice, daily life. 

Now I’m not talking about fiqh, I’m talking about advice for fathers. I’m talking about advice for wives. Just a curriculum. ‘How to be a good Muslim wife’ ‘How to be a good Muslim husband’ ‘How to be a good Muslim father’ ‘How to be a good son’ ‘How to be a good daughter’ ‘What advices Allah have’ Entire curriculum just based on making us good human beings. This is education. Real education is not that you know how to do C++ and your Microsoft’s something-something certified, and your cisco’s certified. And on top of that you have an accounting degree. And you got an MBA. All of that means you can make money. That doesn’t mean you’re educated. That just means you can make money. That's it. That’s all that means. That doesn't make you a better human being. I know plenty of physicians that are terrible human beings. I know plenty of programmers that are horrible human beings. They’re very jahil, they’re very uneducated on how to be a husband. They’re uneducated on how to be a father. What good is their education? All that is a skill labor. You’re just a better worker at the factory. That’s all it is now. It’s a virtual factory but that’s all you are. 

We have to revolutions our Islamic education and that we have to create this, you know, Islamic education revolving around becoming better human beings, Adam. Specific areas that need help now that are never needed help before. I told you what’s happening inside the homes that are being targeted.  Most Muslim fathers don't even know what it means to be a Muslim fathers anymore. These things came naturally to us. They were not difficult for us in the past. But now, because of the change of the world and the change of our lifestyle, we have to re-educate ourselves in these things. We have to come back and do them all over again. How to raise kids specifically. There’s one set of CD’s. I think you might be able to find MP3 online also. I want everybody here to listen to them. They’re not by me. They’re by a person I really really admire, brother Hisham al-wadi. “Children Around The Messenger”, that’s one series. And “Mother of The Believers”. These 2 series, I want every person, especially every father here, and the entire family to listen to both of these series. It’s really really important that you do. It benefited me tremendously and they can benefit parents in general. These are few resources we have but they’re gold. They’re really really valuable, we should take advantage of them. And we should, In sha Allahu ta’ala try to have our entire family listen to them. Put them on your ipod, put them on your car, listen to it everyday, you will benefit tremendously. 

Recite Qur’an with your children. Don’t hire a Qari to recite Qur’an, recite Qur’an with your children. Maulana Shab comes, reads Qur’an and goes home. What about you? You don’t have time? If you don’t have time for Qur’an why does your child has to have time for Qur’an? Sit down with your child, make those 20 minutes happen. Shaytaan will come, he will make you yawn, he will make you thirsty, he will make you sleepy, he will make you remember you had a meeting, all of that will happen in those 20 minutes. Why? Because you gave those 20 minutes for Qur’an. He hates that. He can’t stand it. But make those 20 minutes happen. Commit to it. Commit to it your children. Get the entire family, there’s one part of a day, we’re going to sit and we’re going to recite Qur’an. Listen to the explanation, at least the translation of the Qur’an together as a family. If you can’t do it for one hour, do it 10 minutes. It’s okay. Just listen to it. Just a little bit of 10 minutes of Qur’an. Beyond the recitation. The recitation, I told you, how many minutes? 20 minutes. Listening to translation, some tafseer, some explanation, how long? 10 minutes. So how long everyday? 30 minutes. 30 minutes everyday you and your family just did something for Allah. My recommendation between Maghreb and Isha. And my recommendation, you know, right, you’re going to say ‘You know, kids have exams, let the semester end’ Fine, you know what? I’ll give you that. This whole summer. This is what you do. 30 minutes everyday. Don’t say ‘Which program should I put my child in?’. You’re the program. Everything else is secondary. We have to come to terms with that. 

Islam is not on auto pilot. And I end with this. What do I mean by that? We were raised in a Muslim, many of us, including my self, we’re raised in a Muslim country. Our parents did not have to worry about our beliefs. They didn’t worry, ‘Is my child going to become a Christian, is he going to become Atheist, is he going to become Jewish?’. They didn’t have to worry about that. They didn’t have to worry ‘Is my child going to go somewhere else and not pray jum’ah?’ They didn’t have to worry about that. That thought never came in their mind. They don’t have to worry about you, that you’re going to end up in a gang or drugs or runaway from home. They don’t have these issues. So Islam, they didn’t have to worry about teaching you too much ‘cause the entire society in somewhere and another was teaching you. The school was teaching you, the adhaan was being heard all over the neighborhood. Society was giving you Islam. Are we in that situation now? No. So you cannot raise your kids the way your parents raised you. ‘Cause you’re not in the same world. Everything you assume will just be okay. ‘It’ll be okay. We came out okay.’ You came out okay because you lived in the different world, buddy. This is a different world. We have no guarantee our children will be holding on to Islam. We don’t have that guarantee. We don’t.

The pollution outside is not just of cars’ smog. The pollution outside is of ‘Kufr’. People are becoming doubtful. I cannot begin to tell you how many teenagers I hade met, who are not so sure about Islam. They’re just not sure. They hear so many bad things about the deen all the time. We’re in Texas, afterall. You hear so many terrible things. To this morning, two Mormon teenage boys came in to my house before jum’ah. Knock on the door, teenage boys. It’s amazing right, teenage boys doing da’wah. I was like, Man, if we had that, that’ll be awesome. Which teenage boys you, get dressed up, they got dress really nicely, like a uniform. They grab their bikes, it’s 92 degrees outside, and they go house to house. They wanted to tell you about the word of God. You know how much courage that takes? Before I start ripping their religion apart, I’m going to say ‘Man, I really appreciate what you’re guys doing.’ That’s amazing. They don’t even have the truth. And they’re so dedicate and they were able to put that in to the kids. Why? Because the Mormon community decided our children are on the top priority. Forget everything else. We’re not going to preach our religion, we’re not teach it to anybody else, we don’t have to build a huge centers, all we have to worry is about our kids. That’s it. We make sure they understand our religion. So, they’re teenage boys, carrying this religion. And I’m sitting, and I’m talking to them, you know, and they believe this is the word of God, and it’s a miracle. I was like, ‘Wow, guys..’ It’s not a miracle, but I really appreciate your dedication. I really really appreciate your dedication. I don't say that we become Mormon or be like the Mormons. I am saying, Man, when you see something good, you should appreciate it. And they’ve got the good qualities it is to be appreciated. We have something to learn from other communities, we do. 

And I tell you very quickly; the world is shifting. It’s going to be people who believe in God in one side, and people who don’t believe in any God on the other side. Right now we have disagreement among each other different schools of thought, even Muslims versus Christians versus Hindu etc etc. Pretty soon the world’s polarizing along two lines. ‘I don’t believe in any God and any religion’ and ‘I believe in God’ That’s the shift that’s going to be happening. That’s the polarization that’s happening in every corner of the United State. And it’s happening like a wild fire. Don’t you for a second, think, that it’s not going to affect the Muslims community. It is, it absolutely is. You and I have to learn Qur’an, as parents. Not for our children, for ourselves. We have to learn Qur’an, we have to love it so much, that our children as they are raised, they know, ‘My dad..’ Somebody ask ‘What is your Dad like to do?’ and they say ‘He loves to learn the Qur’an. He’s always talking about the Qur’an. I learned everything about the Qur’an, I learned most of it from my Dad. He’s always listening to the explanation of it. He’s always telling me to recite more. He’s always memorizing it. He loves the recitation of it, all the stuffs.’ We have to become the Nation of Qur’an. Why? Because the prophet (SAW) was surrounded by people who doubted, just like we are surrounded by the people who doubt. And the only thing that gave them belief was, what? Qur’an, The word of Allah. It kept them strong. We have to become that nation again. Us and our children, we have to become the generation of the Qur’an. It has to become center in our life. 30 minutes of a day is a starting point. 30 minutes a day. But for yourself, the parents, I don’t care if you’re 45, 55, 65 or 75…start memorizing Qur’an! Start doing it! Allah didn’t put an age limit on it. Allah did not. That’s you. Allah didn’t do it. Show Allah you love His book and Allah will put blessings in your life you didn’t even see. You would have to ask somebody else for advice for how to raise your children, but Allah will give you that advice in His book. He will have those answers for you and me in His book. We have to have that direct relationship with this book. I tell you, most of our problems in the Muslims community are because we are disconnected from the Qur’an. We don’t feel for it, we don't feel love for it, we don’t have the relationship with it, we don’t go to it for advice, we don’t recite it everyday, we don’t care to memorize it, we don’t care to learn more and more of it, we haven’t shown it enough love. This word Allah gave, honour this Ummah way and we haven’t given it enough love. If we did, I tell you, our problems will start disappearing. I guarantee you. 

Allah SWT talk about the people of the book, He says “If they only establish the Taurat and the Injil, they would’ve eaten from above and below.” Their dunya would’ve become Jannah. If they only establish Taurat and Injil. What is Allah saying to us then? If we only establish what? Qur’an. You will eat from above and below. Allah will make dunya into Jannah. Just come back to His book. This is the real advice to parents. The memory we leave our children with, ‘My Dad loved video games, My Dad loved movies, but he meant more than anything else..He loved Qur’an.’ ‘He really liked basketball, but He Loved Qur’an. Qur’an, he really really loved. And he make sure, he wanted us to love it too. He used to tell stories from it. He used to give advice from it.’ Tell your children the amazing stories from the Qur’an. And you won’t be able to tell them, if you yourself are not amazed by them. If you’re not in awe of the story itself, you won’t be able to impress your children. But Man, from early childhood, you, not anybody else, tell the stories from the Qur’an. You will have to do it. I was teaching one of my daughters the stories of Yusuf AS the other day and I didn’t finish the story, and she’s asking for days ‘Abah, what happened?’ ‘Ok he got thrown into jail’ ‘Then what happened?’ ‘I can’t tell you. I tell you later.’ And she’s been asking about it, I’ll tell her on the way back to the hotel later today in sha Allah. ‘What happened after he got thrown into jail?’ But we have to make it creative and interesting to our children. And the stories are so beautiful. They’re so remarkable. Especially when you tell them from the Qur’an’s point of view. They’re so beautifully put together. 

May Allah SWT make us the people of the Qur’an, and instill that gives us the ability to instill that to our children, have an honest, direct, open conversation with your children, and ask them about, you know, about what they heard in school, what problems they have, and then you yourself seek the answers from Allah’s book. ‘You know, the thing your friend just told you, or this terrible thing you saw, you know what Allah says about that? Let me show you’. Literally teaching your children how to go to Allah for answers. That’s what we have to do. We have to create that generation. May Allah SWT help all of us do that, May Allah SWT put the barakah in the lives of every muslims, and May Allah add barakah on top of the barakah, by means of our love and affection and time and dedication to this Qur’an. Ameen. 

Visit Amazedbythequran.com. Jazakumullah khairan katsiran, so very much for listening attentively. 

And Allah knows best. 

Bismillah ir-rahman ir-rahim

Assalam alaykum warahmatullah wabarakatu 

Continuation...

I’ll give you a small example of what I’m talking about. You’re children, what are they ask you for, the most? What are they ask you all the time? (Candy!) Candy? Ma sha Allah you have some really the most righteous kids, they only ask you for candy? (Nintendo!) Ok, nintendo..you got to keep up a little. (iPod!) iPod..PlayStation.. (Car!) Car? Really they got older..toys.. Most of the time where they got the news about the iPad? Did they see it on their dream, like Yusuf AS saw a dream, eleven stars and the moon..so they saw a dream and saw the apple product? Like, ‘Dad I saw an apple on the phone..what is that dream mean?’ No, no..where did they see the iPhone? Either their friends have it, or they saw it on TV, they saw other friends have it..and they say ‘I want to get those sneakers ‘I want to get that shirt ‘I want to get that toy Where they got the toy’s idea from? Where the ilham came from? They came from media. We expose our children to media, and at that media, they are told to basically beg us to get them those toys..and we get them those toys. 

And by the way they’re not just the only victims of that, we are the victim of that too. The brands we wear, actually you feel really, like a high class when you’re wearing a expensive watch, all of the sudden. All of the sudden, you’re more worth of the human being. The moment you walk out from the apple store, with an iPhone on your hand, all of the sudden you just start looking more handsome. Something happened..’I don’t know how I got cooler like this, but it just happened’ We actually assume that we are worth as a human being, beings is related to these products, And if you’re not wearing brand name clothes and you don’t have that kind of a phone, or you don't have this toy or that toy..that you’re worth less.. Somehow you’re not equal to others. Others are better than you. Just because the thing they have in their hand are better than the thing you have in your hand. So we, even Muslims, we have become pretty much ‘Zombie Consumers’. That's what we’ve become also. 

When we talk about raising children in this society, we have to first understand what’s happening with the world. What’s happening with all of us and with the world. Before we can think about raising our children effectively. That's one big problem. The second big problem is, ‘What is the success mean, what are you worth?’. Now a days, our children are being raised to think all they are worth is these products. The brand of clothes, the kind of house, the kind of car your parents drive drop you off to school at, the brand of the book bag you’re wearing..that sort of things. That’s all you’re worth. And then on top of that, the additional problem is, ‘What is it mean to be successful?’ 

Our idea of success, even 20, 30, 40 years ago was, for the fast majority of the Muslim world, maybe some of you didn’t have the good opportunity for education, or your parents didn’t have the good opportunity to education. And they put all of the effort to getting you the education. And you’ve learned that lesson in your life so you say ‘My children might better have top notch education’ If that means they have to go to private school, if that means that we have to rent a house, rent an apartment, and live uncomfortably so that they can get a good education, we will do it. If that means we have to take an insane amount of money for loans to put them in an ivy league school and to put them in to an expensive med school or to put them into a lead program, we will do it. Why? Because the most important part of your success is..what? Your education. And the children here, they’re told by their parents this over and over again. You have to have the education. You will be a failure in life if you don't get education. You have to finish college and you have to finish this and that and you’re from the hindu-paks of continent, obviously if you’re not a physician, then you have failed. And you should not expect anything from this dunya. Now the only thing that left for you is akhirah. Because you know, your parent will not be happy with you now because you are not a surgeon. Or even don’t be a dentist. Dentists are humiliating. Don't even bother with that. That's what we’ve done. By they way, why is it that being a physician is so important than the in a certain segment of our community? You know why? Because it pays the most. It’s not because you get to save life, or you serving humanity. That has nothing to do with it. If doctors were paid the same salary as the bus drivers, Desi community wouldn’t be crazy about making their children doctors. There’s no zeal to get our children to become saviors for the world. Nope, parents are so happy when their son becomes a doctor. Then he say ‘I’m going to doctors without border for 3 years’ ‘I’m gonna go serve doctors without borders in flooded areas for 3 years, I’m gonna go to Somalia, and then I’m gonna go to Pakistan and then I’m gonna go to Bangladesh and then I’m gonna go to Malaysia and I’m gonna serve no salary, none for profit work.’ These parents are going to say ‘Ya Allah, we put all this money in to make you a doctor. And this is what you do? You should have been part of the same blood’s sucking machine that the insurance company in a pharma-seutical companies are a part of. That’s what we wanted you to do. Why are you saving life? What’s wrong with you?’ That’s what we’ve become.. And then we say something’s wrong with our children. We have to look in the mirror, what are we creating. 

Something has fundamentally changed. Our idea of success has become money. Our idea of education has become a carrier that makes a lot of money. Everything comes back to money. If you’re successful, that means you have a lot of money. If you’re successful, it means you have an education, education in what field? A field that will give you a good carrier, which means you will have good money. And that's what success is now.

Everything comes back to this, that’s it. Now this is different from old times. In old times, to have an education means to understand yourself, to understand the world around you, and to contribute to making the world a better place. And to make the world a better place, sometimes you have to study history. Sometimes you have to study sociology. Sometimes you have to study political science. Sometimes you have to study media. Sometimes you have to study journalism. You have to study a variety of fields to contribute to society. Not one field. And by the way the most successful by any measure, the most successful community in the US are the ones that did not limit their children to one field. One of my friends tells me, ‘If Steven Spielberg was in a Pakistani house hold, he would’ve been a doctor.’ Why? Because you know, ‘What do you mean you want to go to Film school? What’s wrong with you? Are you failing medicine?’ You’re going to give your parents a high blood pressure. 

Now let’s talk a little bit about raising our children. First of all our mentality has to change. If they don't see in us the right definition of success, if they don't see that in our personality, our conversations…we cannot expect them to have the right definition of success for their life. They have to see that coming from us. In what we talk about all the times. And what is important for us most of the times. When husband and wife are talking to each other, are the children listening or no? Always. Their ears are always on. Now if you’re two are talking about the bills, and you’re talking about paying off the house, or you’re only talking about movies, or you’re only talking bad about the these other families, what are they did, whatever you’re talking about. They will come to know these are the things that adults, this is what my parents do. This is what’s important in life. That’s it. If you and your wife are talking about Qur’an, talking about akhirah, you’re talking about doing good to others, you’re talking about helping somebody, and they see that from you. You don't have to give them a talk about it, they just see it. The most effective parenting is not even telling your child to do anything, they just see it. They just see it all the time. Inside the home. A lot of you think ‘If I just bring my child to brother Nouman’s lecture and sit them down and in sha Allah after that they will be righteous after that.’ ‘Just a couple of youtube videos and the problems of them will be solved.’ It ain’t gonna help. And you probably have already discovered that. And you, you are the real counselors to your children. I’m the real counselor to my child. We have to become their best friends. And that’s the next thing that changed in the world. 

You know, parents and children had a very organic natural relationship in the old world. In the new world, Daddy’s at work most of the day. And he comes home tired. And by the times he comes home tired, most of the time children are already asleep. And by the time he goes to work, he probably, dad leaves to work before even the kids wake up. And if he doesn't leave before the kids wake up, he sees them only for 5 minutes while they’re having breakfast and he goes and they go. So basically for 5 out of 7 days in a week, father and children have no conversation with each other. If there’s any conversation; ‘Did you do your homework?’ ‘Ok, now get me some water.’ That’s it. That’s the conversation. Now comes the weekend. But on the weekend you have adult over here, and the party over there, and you got to sleep until 12 o’clock and you got things to do around the house, etc. You don’t spend the times with your kids either. You don’t really talk to them. You don’t really communicate with them. This is the real problem. We have to make time for our children during the week and the weekends. That’s the practical advice I’m giving you, and for myself. We have to make time for our children, just to talk to them. Just to listen to them and talk to them. Even they’re talking non-sense. We should be a part of their life, a big part of their life. For a lot of you, the only role you have to your children, you’re like the wall on the house. It’s always there but you don’t talk to it. You will need it, it’s there, you know it’s important; it’s paying the bills. Other than that I have no relationship with it. You know what happens to parents like that? You will find the consequences of that in the moment they become teenagers. Once they hit 14/15, and they become a little independent, and they ask you for a car, and you say ‘No, why do want a car?’ ‘Fine, I’ll just go with my friends. I’ll go get a job, I’ll save some money and buy myself a car.’ And then all of the sudden you hear the news ‘Dad, I’m moving out.’ ‘Moving out? Where are you going?’ ‘Doesn’t matter, I’m an adult now.’ And now you come running to the masjid. ‘Imam, give me a surah, give me a du’a that can fix this boy.’ It doesn't work like that. You can’t have the state of the emergencies when they’re 17, 18, 19, 20. It’s got to be built way, way before. 

Now I’ll come to some practical bits of advice. For the parents who have children under 10 years old, show hands please, children under 10 years of age. Ok, quite a few, Alhamdulillah. My self included. My eldest is ten. So for us, our biggest job is, to us to teach our children Islam. Us, teaching our children Islam. When the prophets AS teaching deen, they were teaching everybody deen. But when Allah swt talks about children learning Islam and the Qur’an, it’s a very few times Allah talks about children learning, children receiving advice. But whenever talks about it, it’s from the parents. Listen to that again. Whenever Allah talks about children getting guidance in the Qur’an, it’s always from parents. And within the parents it’s always from the fathers. Because the mother is always there. The mother doesn't have to do the extra works to be there for the child all the time and to care for them all the time and to give them advice all the time. You don’t have to give moms training on how to be a mom, it comes naturally, Allah put that inside them. Fathers however are horrible. We have to go through training to become real father. It doesn't come naturally to us. Just because you had a baby when a mother has a baby, her feelings, her emotions, everything changes immediately. It changes. A father? It’s like 3-4 days go by, and friend says ‘Hey I heard you had a baby’ ‘Yeah, he hasn’t hit me yet’ (Chuckle) Somebody needs to hit you, so it hits you. You know what I’m saying? ‘It hasn’t hit me yet.’ Because the feelings of fatherhood, they’re not natural to us. We have to build them, we have to work on them, right? So Allah mentions, Luqman (RA) making the time, finding the right opportunity and then talking to his son. We find Yaqub (AS) talking to his sons ‘Ya baniyya inna Allaha istafalakumu addeena fala tamootunna illa waantummuslimoon’ -(2:132). We find Ibrahim (AS) saying this to his sons the same exact advice Yaqub (AS) gave to his sons. That’s pretty amazing. Because that told you that father did a job to his child not just on how to raise himself but to be a father. We’re going to teach our children how to be a good father one day. Because Ibrahim taught Ishaq, and Ishaq taught Yaqub. What is the Qur’an says? Ibrahim and Yaqub, meaning a grandfather and a grandson, said the same exact thing. Did they say it at the same time? No. They said it on two generations apart from each other. Ibrahim (AS) was talking to Ismail and Ishaq. Yaqub AS was talking to his 11 sons. But they said exactly the same thing and that’s incredible. That Allah says the grandfather and the grandson gave the same exact advice, why, because the ‘tarbiyah’ was passed down. Not just on how to be a good son, but one day how to be a good father. That’s the kind of ‘tarbiyah.’ In other words we’re going to be giving the tarbiyah to our children even when they become fathers. Even when they got older, we’re going to give them advice about raising children. And they’re going to see that from us. And if we do our job right, we’re going to look back, you know, a lot of parents, they were abusive. A lot of parents were abusive. And they yelled at their children and they insulted them and they put them down and all these kind of things. And so when they have children they say ‘I’m going to be different from my father. I’m not going to be like my Dad. I’m going to love my child. I’m going to be this way, and that way or the other way’. We’re end up being exactly like our father whether we like it or not, by the way, in one way or the other way. But here what we’re learning is the power of a generation after generation if you do your job right with your children. 

And by the way, another important question, are Ibrahim’s children the same quality as Yaqub’s children? Who are Ibrahim’s children? Ismail, Ishaq. Who are Yaqub’s children? Yusuf AS, Benjamin, and the rest of the brothers. Same quality or no? No. But the advice is the same, right? The advice’s exactly the same. How come? What Allah is telling us, teaching us here is, it doesn’t matter if you had easy kids or difficult kids, you have to do your job. There are some parts of parenting that don’t change it all. Other things have to change. But this part of parenting that will not change at all. You have to give your children the teaching of deen. It will come from you. It will not come from the Qari shab, it will not come from the Imam, or the khatib. It will come from you. 

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