Assalam alaikum warahmatullah wabarakatu 

Bismillahi rahmani rahim

Alhamdhulillah for this day and all the days Allah blesses us with to improve ourselves, becoming better Muslims. 

So I'm mostly on public transport, from home to work and back home again and in between a bit of a walk, and I'm always eyeing, one two, three things. And I recently noticed that much of what I was living with just 5 years ago has changed so much, for the worse in terms of either self-respect and self-worth or honour, it's no longer valuable. Fitnah has become such a norm, blended in with our lives we don't find it a big deal anymore. 

[Sheikh Bilal Assad]

Rasul of Allah told us that in the last hour, towards the last hour their will be extreme display - the trial and tribulations. The fitnah will be displayed before you, a very intrigue word is used here meaning they will be placed in front you. You don't even looking for it, it will be placed in front of you - just like the pieces of straws in a straw mat, there are so many of them - like all the individual straws, maybe hundred thousand straws in it, individually, all at once. 

Rasul is using a metaphor here, he's saying the fitana, they'll be so many on that day that you will look at them, you'll see them all at once in front of you, and you will recognise that each one on its own, fitnah after fitnah, after fitnah, after fitnah, after fitnah, all displaying themselves in front of you.

He said, they'll be two hearts. One heart would be pure and the other type of heart, milky, stinky, ugly and dark.  The pure heart are ones that reject these fitanas and try to go against it. And the hearts that are dark and ugly are the one who take it, accept it and love it. 

Once I was driving out of my house, I went down to the next street. This street is a two-way, cars coming this way, cars going that way.  So if you go down in one direction, it's very hard to overtake another vehicle. I was reaching around the roundabout and there was a bus stop, I looked at the bus a few metered and right at the back of the bus is a huge picture of a woman, partially naked. Now you shouldn't even be shocked because this is very normal, isn't it. Very normal. Everywhere you drive, you can see it, it's very normal. 

So I said I better beat that bus, because the bus is gonna be right in front of me and I can't overtake because cars are gonna be coming this way and I have to look at the bus because otherwise they'll be an accident. What I'm I looking at? The Picture. 

So then the bus went in front of me, how strong is Shaytan? So the bus went in front of me. Driving behind this bus where so I look? Trying to look away,  I'm gonna have an accident. Until the bus Alhamdhulillah went away, Astaghfirullah-adhim. I said, sadaqa rasulullah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), truthful is he, that the fitnah will be displayed in front of your eyes, you can't even run away from it. 

This day and age. The other day, a brother said, I lowered my gaze to the ground and I see a magazine with a woman on it. I looked away from this, at a shop right there was displayed on the window Lahaula walaquwata ilabillah. You going to read your emails, bang! right in front of you this junk mail comes up, sometimes a display, isn't that correct? Everywhere!!

Grade 5s and 6s now are looking at stuff they shouldn't be looking at by the time they are in year 9, Allahu Akbar! Gone with the wind. 

Pornography has become a wide spread epidemic today, Rasul of Allah told us, before the last hour, there will be a time when people will look at this as very normal. 

[MERCIFUL SERVANT]

Bismillah ir-rahman ir-raheem

Assalam alaykum salam warahmatullah wabarakatu

In an accident, or due to a slip or fall, if the joint of the shoulder or leg is dislocated, traction is normally the means adopted in the healing process.

As for the sinful, immoral attractions and distractions which form the entertainment of those who have forgotten Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala are such, that they dislocate the joints of Imaan.

The traction for indulgence in sins is sincere Taubah (sincere repentance), distancing oneself from sins and from venues of sins; together with attending good, deen programmes and associating with the pious.

There are so many, so many, who have gone towards some Haram (forbidden) attraction, never to return therefrom : So many have lost their identity as Muslims, and sometimes they have even lost their Imaan and suffer the loss of their Akhirah.

Thousands have died engaging in Haram entertainment; whether at the casinos, discos, raves, prostitute quarters, massage parlours, in adultery, etc. As far as you've read haven't you thought of one or Twp or even three people who came to mind.

One earthquake, one tsunami, one gale-force wind, one fire, and death comes upon thousands – many of whom are also engaged in sins. What guarantee do we have that we won’t be singled out this holiday, for our return to Allah?

So think…

And think again!

What would be the condition of that person who comes face to face with the Angel of Death whilst engaged in gambling, drink, dance, raves, adultery or fornication? Which Muslim wants to return to Allah in a state of sin?

Such matters should not be taken lightly. [Allah protect us all]

The holiday period is a time of great test and trial : Invitation to sins, promotion of sins, temptation to sins, enticement and encouragement towards all kinds of Haram is the order of the day.

Beach partying, intermingling and courting, immodest dress, music and dance, smoking and drinking and drug-taking then become even the programme and timetable for many Muslims.

Salaah becomes a forgotten duty for holiday-makers. The Islamic dress and identity are discarded so that there is freedom to engage in more sinful activities.

Shaytaan’s trump card to Haram entertainment is even held up by Muslims, who also invite to Haram just as the non-Muslims do. …Inna Lillahi wa-inna ilayhi ra`ji-oon.

Is this what we were created for?

Allah asks, “Did you think that We created you for nothing, and that you will not be brought back to Us?” [Surah Mu`minun 23 : 115]

The shocking behaviour of our Muslim youth (and even many Muslim adults) leaves us numb, disturbed, distressed and deeply, deeply grieved. What shocks does the heart have to contend with.

The Muslim youth are supposed to be tomorrow’s leaders for the Ummah, are expected to be the representatives of deen, inviting the non-Muslims to Islam, with the modesty and purity of thought, speech, dress and actions which should be characteristic of every Muslim.

Deen and Shariah do not stifle us, do not deprive us of pleasure and enjoyment, do not deny  us happiness and celebration. They accommodate leisure and pleasure. Islam is beautiful. Most beautiful. Islam is not ‘dry or backwards’. It is enjoyable. Allah has only placed certain boundaries through His Divine prohibitions for our own benefit, safety and well-being. Who could known us better than Him?

So let us make the effort and avoid the temptations towards sins. Let us not walk the route towards sins. Let us keep clear of the venues of sins like how we would if we had fore-knowledge that there will be an earthquake, tsunami or bomb-blast devastating such places. We fear for our lives. The greater need is to fear for our Imaan and that of our children’s Imaan.

Let us not forget that we are Muslims.

Let us not forget our relationship with Allah Ta’ala.

Let us not forget that death can visit very unexpectedly.

Let us not forget that there is accountability.

Let us not forget Jannah.

Let us not forget Jahannum.

This world is a prison for the Believer and a paradise for the disbeliever. What will be ‘good’ for the disbelievers will not be good for the Believers. If they find enjoyment in Haram, the Muslim will find HARM in that same Haram.

Every person is given the choice. A person either makes a wise decision or an unwise decision.

If we adopt Taqwa, we restrain and abstain from disobedience to Ar-Rahman, then when we leave this world, we leave behind a prison. When we leave this world, we leave free. When the disbeliever leaves this world, he leaves behind his paradise. When he leaves this world, he enters a prison; wherein there is no release, no bail, no escape and no parole.

This worldly life is short. Very short. Understand the reality: Every passing second is delivering us closer and closer to the bridge of death. And there is no choice. We have to cross that bridge.

Shaykh, Maulana Hakeem Muhammad Akhtar Saheb (DB) says in poetry: “Strange is the visa of life; It can be cancelled at any time. The duration of its validity is unknown And its extension too, impossible."

Tick tock! Tme is running out.  

The journey is long. The life after this is eternal. There is no return to this world.

What preparation have you made? What provision have you procured?

The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “The intelligent one is he who suppresses his desires and practises for what  s after death, and the foolish one is he who makes his nafs follow its desires and (he) places (baseless) hope on Allah.”

Imam Shafi (may Allah have mercy on him) summed up this life very simply and aptly: “This worldly life is a just a moment; let it be a moment of obedience.”

Umar Bin Al-Khattab, may Allah be pleased with him said “Take yourself to account before you’re taken to account”.

Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock.

Bismillah ir-rahman ir-rahim

Assalam alaykum warahmatullah wabarakatu

There was a woman I met in school and I overheard her saying there are no real lady-like women nowadays, all you find are just immoral and unchaste women with no shame whatsoever. Having all the intimacy every corner you turn. It more sad that our Muslim girls are involved too, having lovers in their lives. Its either moving with the trend or peer pressure.

Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): “… Wed them with the permission of their own folk and give them their mahr (dowry) according to what is reasonable; they should be chaste, not adulterous, nor taking boyfriends…” [An-Nisaa’ 4:25]

In his commentary on this ayah, Ibn Katheer (may Allah have mercy on him) said: “Muhsanaat [translated as “chaste”] means that they should be pure, not indulging in zinaa (unlawful sexual conduct), hence they are described as not being musaafihaat, which means promiscuous women who do not refuse anyone who wants to commit immoral acts with them. Regarding the phrase wa laa muttakhidhaati akhdaan (‘nor taking boyfriends’), Ibn ‘Abbaas said: ‘al-musaafihaat means those who are known to commit zinaa, meaning those who will not refuse anyone who wants to commit immoral acts with them.’ Ibn ‘Abbaas also said: ‘muttakhidhaati akhdaan means lovers.’ A similar interpretation was narrated from Abu Hurayrah, Mujaahid, al-Sha’bi, al-Dahhaak, ‘Ataa’ al-Khurasaani, Yahyaa ibn Abi Katheer, Muqaatil ibn Hayyaan and al-Saddi. They said: (it means) lovers. Al-Hasan al-Basri said: ‘It means a (male) friend.’ Al-Dahhaak also said: ‘wa laa muttakhidhaati akhdaan also means a woman who has just one boyfriend or lover with whom she is happy. Allaah has also forbidden this, meaning marrying her so long as she is in that situation…’”

Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Made lawful to you this day are al-tayyibaat [all kinds of halaal (lawful) foods…]. The food of the People of the Scripture (Jews and Christians) is lawful to you and yours is lawful to them. (Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time, when you have given their due mahr (bridal money given by the husband to the wife at the time of marriage), desiring chastity (i.e., taking them in legal wedlock), not committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girlfriends. And whosoever disbelieves in the Oneness of Allah and in all the other Articles of Faith, the fruitless is his work, and in the Hereafter he will be among the losers.” [Al-Maa’idah 5:5]

Ibn Katheer (may Allah have mercy on him) said: “Muhsineen ghayr musaafiheen wa laa muttakhidhi akhdaan (‘desiring chastity (i.e., taking them in legal wedlock), not committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girlfriends’). Just as Allah imposed the condition of chastity on women, meaning that they refrain from zinaa, so it is also imposed on men. The man must also be pure and chaste. So they should be ghayr musaafiheen, meaning they should not be adulterers who do not refrain from sin and do not refuse any who come to them (for immoral purposes). Nor should they be muttakhidhi akhdaan, meaning those who have girlfriends or female lovers with whom they have an exclusive relationship, as quoted above from Surat Nisaa’. (The one with many lovers or the one with just one lover) are both the same. For this reason Imaam Ahmad ibn Hanbal (may Allah have mercy on him) said that it is not right to marry a promiscuous woman unless she has repented, or to arrange a marriage of such a woman to a chaste man, so long as she is still conducting herself in this manner. Similarly, he (Ahmad) says that it is not right for a promiscuous man to marry a chaste woman unless he repents and gives up his immoral conduct, because of this aayah… We will discuss this matter in further detail after quoting the aayah (interpretation of the meaning):

“Let no man guilty of fornication or adultery marry any but a woman similarly guilty, or an unbeliever: nor let any but such a man or an unbeliever marry such a woman: to the Believers such a thing is forbidden.” [An-Noor 24:3]

Among the stories that show that it is forbidden to have girlfriends or to marry them is the story of Marthad ibn Abi Marthad, who used to smuggle Muslim prisoners-of-war from Makkah to Madeenah. There was a prostitute in Makkah, called ‘Anaaq, who had been a friend of Marthad’s. Marthad had promised to take one of the prisoners from Makkah to Madeenah. He said: “I came to the shade of one of the gardens of Makkah on a moonlit night, then ‘Anaaq came and saw my shadow by the garden. When she reached me, she recognized me and said: ‘Marthad?’ I said, ‘Marthad.’ She said: ‘Welcome! Stay with us tonight.’ I said, ‘O ‘Anaaq, Allah has forbidden zinaa (unlawful sexual relations)’ … I came to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and asked him, ‘O Messenger of Allah, should I marry ‘Anaaq?’ The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) remained silent and did not answer me at all, until the aayah ‘ Let no man guilty of adultery or fornication marry any but a woman similarly guilty, or an Unbeliever; nor let any but such a man or an Unbeliever marry such a woman; to the Believers such a thing is forbidden’ [An-Nur 24:3 – Yusuf ‘Ali’s translation] was revealed. Then the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: ‘O Marthad, Let no man guilty of adultery or fornication marry any but a woman similarly guilty, or an Unbeliever; nor let any but such a man or an Unbeliever marry such a woman, so do not marry her.’”

(Reported by al-Tirmidhi, 3101; he said: it is a hasan ghareeb hadeeth). ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Maghfal reported that there was a woman who had been a prostitute during the days of ignorance (before Islam). A man passed by her, or she passed by him, and he touched her. She said: “Stop it! (Mah! A word connoting a rebuke or denunciation). Allah has done away with shirk and had brought Islam.” So he left her alone and went away, still looking at her, until he walked into a wall, hitting his face. He came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and told him what had happened. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “You are a man for whom Allah wishes good. When Allah, may He be blessed and exalted, wishes good for His slave, He hastens the punishment for his sin, so that it is dealt with before the Day of Resurrection.” (Reported by al-Haakim, 1/349, who said this hadeeth is saheeh according to the conditions of Muslim, and al-Dhahabi agreed with him. See Saheeh al-Jaami’ , 308).

Undoubtedly having relations (boyfriends and girlfriends) is a major sin. It is haram to shake hands, it is haram to be alone together, it is haram to be hugging whether in public or alone, kissing and touching whether intimately or not. All things come under the heading of zinah al-jawaarih (fornication of the limbs) Allah is in [Al-Baqarah 2:197], "It is made lawful for you to have sexual relations with your wives..." this is addressed to those who are married.

These Ayat and Hadeeth clearly indicate that it is haram (forbidden) for Muslims to have any kind of friendship or relationship with non-mahram (to whom they are not closely-related and to whom they could get married). The evil consequences and misery caused by such relationships are obvious to anyone who observes real life.

If you are in any relationship, fear Allah and end it. Repent to Allah for doing so and after that if you want then it is permissible for you to get married. The Prophet of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, "I do not think there is anything better for two who love one another than marriage."

We ask Allah to keep us far away from that which is forbidden, to protect us from all that may earn His wrath and to keep us safe from a painful punishment. May Allah bless our Prophet Muhammad. really.

And Allah knows best.

 

Bismillah ir-rahman ir-rahim

Assalam alaykum warahmatullah wabarakatu 

Can non-mahrams just be friends?

“Just a Friend.” That is quite a statement that is taken very lightly nowadays and it is a serious matter in the Muslim Ummah.

Ustadha Zaynab Ansari has previously stated: “It depends what you mean by “friends.” If you mean “friend” in the Western sense, where you hang out and spend time together and go places, then no, this is not allowed in Islam. Islam doesn’t allow free intermingling of the opposite gender for the simple reason that whenever men and women are together, there is always the possibility, whether latent or actual, of being fitnah (tempted) to do something improper. Having said that even though, the message exchanged appears innocent enough, one has to be realistic about human nature and the natural attraction Allah has created between the male and the female. One must also keep in mind that if the young people have reached adolescence, they are experiencing a life stage where the pull towards members of the opposite sex is quite strong, but the ability to critically judge the impact of their actions and anticipate consequences is diminished.

Islamic gender etiquette is strict, yes, but it is strict for a reason. Unfettered access to members of the opposite sex, including casual friendships, can lead to emotional dependency, infatuation, and the physical behaviors that are associated with committing zinah and not of the private pats but the stepping stones; zinah of the eyes, ears, hands, feet and heart. Unchecked, these developments can have a devastating impact on young people in the worst case scenario, this physical relationships happens outside of marriage and it is haram.  When it is forbidden, just simply stay away from it, in the long run it is for own good. Islam is also practically clear. When there is a legitimate need for men and women to work together, they may do so, provided that everyone observes the proper etiquette (adab). The Qur’an describes the relationship between believing men and women as follows, “And the believers, men and women, are protecting friends one of another: they enjoin what is just and forbid what is evil; they observe regular prayers, practice regular charity, and obey Allah and His Messenger. On them will Allah pour His mercy: for Allah is Exalted in power, Wise.” (At-Tauba, 9:71) In this verse, the Qur’an does speak of the believers as friends, as one community (people of a community help and assist each other thus forming the friendship and being like family), and in spiritual sense too, and is very different from the Western concept of “friendship.” Mixing with non-Mahrams which includes your cousins, (anyone who can marry you, and you can marry) and going out of our way to spend time with them obviously defies the very ideals of Hijab. It’s as simple as this: brothers and sisters who are not Mahram to each other are not supposed to interact when there is no point in doing so, and any interaction that does take place is supposed to be done in a professional manner. The idea of non-Mahram guys and girls spending time together as “friends” is not endorsed by Islam. Also, we need to realize that being Muslim doesn’t make us immune to falling into sin. Just because a sister wears a headscarf and a brother sports a beard does not mean it is okay for them to become friends.

After a long day of hard work with your peers on a project, a sister suggests that all of you hang out at the pizza place nearby for a late lunch. The problem is, your group of peers is made up of both guys and girls. “But we’re all friends!” protests the sister when you, as a brother, bring up the issue. So you think about it and agree, because after all, you say  “She’s like a sister to me.” Key phrase here: “like a sister” She isn’t really your sister, she is a stranger, a non-Mahram which means that there are limitations in how you relate to her. Nowadays, under the guise of Islamic brotherhood and sisterhood, many are unfortunately committing sins in the name of friendship. Islam, however, does not permit such close relationships between non-Mahrams. Of course, living in non-Islamic countries, there are times when non-Mahrams do interact – but there is a difference between how we do so with our colleagues and with our friends. We interact on a regular basis with our colleagues regarding the work that has brought us together on a professional level. We also interact regularly with our friends, but our topics of conversation are not restricted to just business. Furthermore, we spend time with our colleagues at university or at the workplace basically, any place that is relevant to business meetings. However, we can meet our friends in both formal and informal settings. Our colleagues and friends are not one and the same. Keeping that in mind. We are supposed to interact with non-Mahrams as colleagues, not as friends. Unnecessarily spending time with non-Mahrams, doing things like hanging out or having long conversations just to kill time is out of the question, because that is what we would do with a friend. In Islam everything we do is with the intention of gaining the pleasure of our Creator by keeping away from what is forbidden and following His commands. We are supposed to be constantly aware of the presence of Allah, and to strive to get closer to our Beloved by following the teachings of the Prophet and his Ahlul Bayt (peace be upon them).

In line with those teachings, the concept of Hijab for men and women is one of the fundamental aspects of Islam. When it comes down to the core of the matter, all forms of Hijab are for the purpose of maintaining God consciousness and respect when we interact with non-Mahrams out of necessity. However, mixing with non-Mahrams and going out of our way to spend time with them obviously defies those ideals of Hijab. It’s as simple as this: brothers and sisters who are not Mahram to each other are not supposed to interact when there is no point in doing so, and any interaction that does take place is supposed to be done in a professional manner. Just as we are to abstain from sitting at a table that has alcohol bottles on it and just as we are to abstain from listening to music, we are to abstain from developing non-Mahram friendships because of the greater sins that we could be led to commit.

Allah is the One who created us, and He knows the details of the human system better than we can ever discover. It stands to reason that whatever He commands us to do and to stay away from is logical, because He would not ask of us something that is impossible to do or that is harmful for us. Whether or not we acknowledge it, there is a scientific aspect of attraction in cross-gender “friendships”. Our brains release chemicals upon interaction with others, and the amount released increases as we spend more time with a person of the opposite gender. We are fooling ourselves if we try to ignore these facts and be “just friends” with non-Mahrams, because then we will be treading thin ice over a sea of sin in which we will lose focus on our journey of getting closer to the Almighty.

There was an experiment done on the “just friends” between men and women on the behavior of 142 participants. The results of the surveys showed that a significant number of women and men (the number of men being higher) consider befriending non-Mahrams as the first step towards developing a romantic relationship with the person. This in itself shows that it is difficult for non-Mahrams to be “just friends” because the relationship doesn’t even start off with straightforward intentions. More often than not, it seems that befriending someone of the opposite gender has become the first step to eventually turning the friendship into a more intimate relationship. So whether or not it is clearly stated aloud by the non-Mahram individuals themselves, studies show that non-Mahram friendships are, in reality, made for inappropriate reasons. But… “What’s so wrong about it?” That question is usually followed by excuse after excuse, yet each reason that is always given has many flaws. Non-Mahram friendships are not permitted in Islam, no matter how much one may try to justify them by saying, “But…” “It’s a normal thing these days.” Everyone is best friends with a person of the opposite gender these days, so what’s the big deal if we go with the flow? The big deal is that it’s wrong and it Shaytan has made it seem so nice yet it is harmful. Just because everyone else is doing something, that doesn’t make it right and just because few people follow it doesn’t make it wrong. In order to promote a lifestyle of selfishness and immorality, society pressures the public from all around. Be it through sit-coms, books, movies, or real-life examples, we are faced with a smorgasbord of practices that have become common. This idea of “friends with benefits” and no string attached thing. What is that!! Immorality and creeps into the subconscious from what our eyes feed in from around us. The concept of having a friend of the opposite gender with whom one has physically intimate relations, while both still consider each other to be “just friends” – has permeated the fabric of our society, so much that it is no longer considered wrong. Yet the relation of “friends with benefits” does not truly provide anything but momentary pleasure; it destroys the moral compass by promoting easy indulgence in carnal desires, it shatters the honorable concept of being committed to one person, and it severely blackens the soul by gaining the displeasure of Allah.

As mentioned in the above scientific studies, the question of “What if we were more than just friends?” is always in the air. So why go through all that doubt and put ourselves in a situation that has a great potential to become sinful? “I know my intentions are pure.” First of all, what does it even mean to “have a pure intention” when it comes to being pals with a non-Mahram? Second of all, even if you have no ill intentions, Shaytan has promised to mislead any person that he can, so what makes you think you’re immune to his whispers? We already have a Qareen with us 24/7. We have already been clearly warned in the Holy Qur’an, “Did I not charge you, O children of Adam, that you should not serve the Shaytan? Surely he is your open enemy.” (36:60) He is a sworn enemy right from the day the father of mankind Adam (may Allah be pleased with him) was created. We have to be on guard and be able to abstain from situations that are not only spiritually harmful but even potentially spiritually harmful.

They are stepping stones of Shaytan, and the fact that he is patient is why we find ourselves already in too deep and wonder how did I get here? Stay away from the little steps leading to a much larger sin. Be a good listener and slave follow what Allah commanded. “Do not come near unto Zinah.” Remember? It does matter if you don't hug, shake hands or kiss on the cheek, there is no intermingling with non-Mahrams in Islam.

Islam has set out guidelines for interactions between a man and a woman who is not his mahram. It enjoins man to lower his gaze, and it forbids being alone with a woman or shaking hands with her. It also enjoins the woman to cover her entire body and forbids her to speak softly. This is what guarantees the purity of society and the soundness of the family, and it closes the door to evil and temptation.

May Allah protect us from the whispers of Shaytan and guide our hearts from the being spiritually destroyed.

And Allah knows best.

Bismillah ir-rahman ir-rahim

Assalam alaykum warahmatullah wabarakatu

By Ustadh Nouman Ali Khan

I wanted to share with you an ayah and some insights from this ayah that belongs to Surah Al-Isra' - Q17:32

 ولا تقربوا الزنا إنه كان فاحشة وساء سبيلا

This belongs to a passage in the Qur'an that (contains that which) are kind of the equivalent of the Ten Commandments, you've probably heard the famous phrase. Some sahaba called them the equivalent of what the essential teachings that were given to Musa (AS). It's interesting that this passage belongs to a Surah that's also called bani-isra'il, the sons of Isra'il.

Anyhow, in this particular ayah, Allah says “don't even go near fornication/adultery”. Az-zina, don't even go near it. He doesn't say "laa taazinu", "don't do adultery" or "don't commit adultery", He says don't go near it. In other words, there is the act itself, and then there is a series of smaller acts that lead to it. It's got a perimeter around it, and you can't even go close to it. One has to understand the language of the Qur'an and the sensitivity in which it deals with this subject to appreciate the wisdom of Allah 'azza wa jal and how He is counselling us in dealing with this problem. Allah 'azza wa jal is telling us that there are certain things that in and of themselves are haram. You're not going to be able to pinpoint it and say "it is wrong". But, when you get involved in it, you're going to get sucked into a gravitational field, and it will pull you in slowly, and surely, little by little by little, and eventually, it'll get you. Eventually it will come at you.

You know, one of the things we learn about shaytaan, that is remarkable to me, is that he is extremely patient. He won't get you [in] one shot. He will come at you and he will put a little bit and a little bit and a little bit and a little bit, until he destroys your character. He won't come and make you do the wrong thing right away. Even in the story of Adam (AS) and Hawa the way he approached them in Surah Al-a'raf is really interesting. He was relentless. It wasn't just one time. We assume that he just came and say, "Hey, tree! Doesn't it look good?" and he is gone. No! He was extremely relentless. And he kept at it and he kept at it, and he built this idea in them until they would think that it's their idea. And when people start listening to shaytaan this is in the same Surah, ayah 65 Allah says,

إن عبادي ليس لك عليهم سلطان

“My slaves, you're not going to have any authority over them”

In other words, people who really submit to Allah, he will not have authority over them. But others?

الشيطان يعدكم الفقر ويأمركم بالفحشاء (Q2:268)

“he will command you to do shamelessness.”

In other words, when you listen to him a little bit, you grant him a little bit of power. When you listen to him a little more, you grant him a little more power. And if you keep on listening to him, he gets to the point where he can command you. You will find myself [saying] "I can't even help myself, brother. I can't even help myself. I don't even know. I don't know how to turn the computer off (from seeing evil things). I don't know what makes me do that every night. I don't know what makes me do this or that. I don't know what makes me go there; go to that chat session; go and log into that horrific website; go watch that filth. Why do I end up doing that? Why can't I lower my eyes when I am in an elevator? When I am walking down the street? I can't even help myself. I don't know what to do." That's when you know, shaytaan has got a pretty good hold on you; he's got a pretty solid hold on you. And you've been sucked into a really vicious cycle. It's just getting worse and worse. And you're not addressing it, and it's making the problem worse. And it's destroying your spirituality altogether.

Your relationship with Allah depends on the heart being clean. Every time you are exposed to filth, more dirt, more blackness, more covers, are poured on top of your heart. And it keeps on pouring and it keeps on pouring, to the point where you're listening to the word of Allah, and you can't even get yourself to shed even a single tear. It won't come, because your heart has been made so hard because of all the exposure to filth, all the sin that your eyes are taking in all the time. And you don't even care anymore. You know, a good heart, when it sees something inappropriate that doesn't coincide with the commandments of Allah, it is disturbed. It's not attracted, it's disturbed. It says "No, that's wrong." Immediately, the conscience kicks in, the alarm goes off.

But when you're at the point when you're by yourself, and you feel no guilt doing it, you just don't feel anything, you don't feel that it's wrong; (when you're at the point where) before you stare at a sister, you look around (thinking) "is anybody else watching?" or you don’t even care who sees you and then you take a good look, that means the fear of Allah is completely gone. The only fear you have is that of the seen; there is no more fear of the unseen. What a horrible spiritual state to be in! Allah say in Surah (Q40:19),

يعلم خائنة الأعين وما تخفي الصدور

“He knows the stealing of the eyes.”

That little glance you caught? He knows that one, that little glance you took. What to speak of the stare? And He knows what our chests are hiding.

You know why I brought up this particular ayah, "don't even go near zina"?

ولا تقربوا الزنا إنه كان فاحشة,

It has always been considered a lewd, shameless, vulgar act (وساء سبيلا) and a horrible path.

Allah describes it as a path, a horrible path. In other words, a path has steps. You have to identify which step you are in. For each of you, there is a process, there is a cycle: You're in a room by yourself, it's after school, you have a couple of hours before your parents get home; you're among a bunch of friends that don't have any standards. You have to identify: What leads you into this sin every time? And you have to cut it in its tracks.

You have the intention of entertaining this girl, so what do you do? You approach her, you invite her for some shakes or ice cream next thing you like each other, going on a date (and all this time your heart says it’s okay, it love, he’s the one. The one!? The one what? First date, second date, the kiss, the holding hands. Then one day you’re both going back to at his place for a movie, one thing leads to another and another and even though you aren’t pregnant, you’re not pure or chaste anymore, shaytan was your third party. You’re both a fornicatress and fornicator. That isn’t love man, woman, lady in Islam. Its lust. You have to stop going down that path. From taking those steps they all haram. When Allah said “do not come near it…” not “don’t do it…zina” all such things were in account. If it was “don’t do zina” then all these wouldn’t be a problem. But Allah did not even want us to be in that way, taking those tiny little steps led by shaytan.

Zina is not only the penetration, rather it’s from the hand that touches that which is forbidden, zina of the eyes is looking at that which is forbidden, the ears is listening to that which is forbidden, the heart desires and the private parts confirm the act. It was narrated by Abu Hurairah that the Messenger of Allah said, “Allah has decreed for every son of Adam his share of zina, which he will inevitably commit. The zina of the eyes is looking, the zina of the tongue is speaking, one may wish and desire, and the private parts confirm or deny it.” (Bukhari). Looking at that which is forbidden is one of the arrows of shaytan, which leads a person to doom, even if he didn’t do it intentionally at first. In Surah Al-Nur when Allah talked about “lowering our gaze” it was immediately connected to “guarding our modesty and private parts” because the eyes see first and influences the heart, therefore we should guard ourselves from those steps before the actual act happens which is a great corruption among Muslims. Allah says in Surah Al-Ghaafir (Q40:19), “Allah knows the fraud of the eyes, and all that the breast conceal.” He is All-Aware of what we do and nothing id hidden from Him. This is a warning to the believer against doing what Allah has forbidden. We should watch the ideas that become acts when shaytan encourages us step by step to immoral acts. It sicknesses the heart remember and it is a path to vulgar behaviour. And you know the worst thing is we don't even care about the spiritual price we're paying.

Our standards have gone so low [that when] a movie comes out, you see a couple of trailers, you tell yourself "there is just this one bad scene in it, it's OK. It's PG 13, it's not R." [But] what used to be R ten years ago it's now PG 13; what used to be PG 13 is now E. They put filthy scenes in everything now, they know it but still do it. And we don't even care about the spiritual price we're paying. It's affecting our prayer, it's affecting our duas, it's affecting our character, and it’s affecting our family life. It is, and we don't care. We just think "Hey that's life bro, come on, live in the times. It's alright. It's just what it is now. What can you do?" So many of you don't care what kind of pictures you put up of yourselves on your Facebook pages. You're Muslims. How can you post pictures like that? Have dignity for yourself Muslim ladies. Have dignity for your family. Men, watch what your language, your tongue is rotting, guard your gaze same case to females. Start with your eyes. Zina of the eyes. And everything else goes from there.

Insha Allah ta’ala, I wanted to talk to you about this subject at length and do little small snippets and maybe portions from the Qur'an that deal with this subject. But the last thing I will tell you today insha'Allah is something about the word فاحشة (faaHishah) which I am translating as shamelessness or lewdness or vulgarity. The Arabic language has roots that are close to each other: وحش and فحش (wahash and fahash). Wahash actually means wild animal; fahash means someone who acts like a wild animal. Shamelessness is described as behaviour close to animal behaviour. Allah has dignified us as human beings. The punishment on Adam (AS) was that his clothes were removed, our mother's and our father's clothes were removed. That was a punishment from Allah. And immediately, they recognized that they need to cover themselves. They didn't learn to cover themselves from a society. It wasn't society that taught them to be shameless. Nowadays, anthropology professors will tell you, "You know, its society that makes us dress in clothes. It's a sociological thing that “We learn to dress and cover ourselves over history. But naturally, we're just supposed to be the way we are, like all other animals." [But] Adam (AS) didn't learn anything from any society. He was given a consciousness, and the moment his clothes were removed, he's trying to cover himself; our mother's trying to cover herself.

We're supposed to be a people that guard ourselves with covering, and we dignify others by not looking at them. Even if they don't have dignity for themselves, we should have dignity for them and not look, because they are, in the end, a creation of Allah. Even if they are a disappointing creation of Allah, they are a creation of Allah. And we have more respect for ourselves and for humanity in general to not to look at [other human beings] as animals look at other animals.

The person who has committed any of these actions has to repent to Allah. Return to Allah. For whoever repents Allah will accept his repentance. May Allah make us spiritually healthy and alleviate us from this growing and ever-increasing spiritual problem, and that is to not be able to lower our eyes. And May Allah not allow us to be in company and in situations and involved in activities that lead us more and more towards this horrible, horrible path. May Allah clean our way or ease our way to a purer and healthier spiritual life.

Baarakallahu li walakum, wassalaamu 'alaikum.

Bismillah ir-rahman ir-rahim

Assalam alaykum warahmatullah wabarakatu

Straight to the point, a man shaking hands with women; it’s not permissible at all period. It is forbidden for a man who believes in Allah and His Messenger to put his hands in the hands of women (who is not one of his mahrams) who ever does this has sinned. It is haram. Among evidence for this is the hadith of Ma’qal ibn Yassar (RA) who said: “The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, ‘If one of you were to be struck in the head with an iron needle, it would be better for him than if he were to touch a woman he is not allowed to.’” (Classed as Sahih). Let’s think for a second men, being stuck in the head with an iron needle can’t even imagine the pain it’s supposed to be. Then stay away from touching women. There is no doubt it is strictly forbidden for a man to touch a non-mahram woman. First it is a cause of fitnah (temptation), provocation of desires and haraam deeds. No one should say that their intention is sound or their heart is clean, no! The purest of hearts and the most chaste of all our beloved Prophet never touched a non-mahram woman, even when accepting the oath of allegiance from them. He did not hold hands with them as he did with men; their allegiance was by words. In a narration by Aisha (RA), the wife of the Prophet said: “When the believing women migrated to the Messenger of Allah, they would be tested in accordance with the words of Allah: ‘O Prophet! When believing women come to you to give you Bay’ah (pledge or allegiance, that they will not associate anything in worship with Allah, that they will not steal, that they will not commit illegal intercourse that they will not kill their children, that they not utter slander, intentionally forging falsehood, and that they will not disobey you in any just matter - then you receive their fealty, and pray to God for the forgiveness (of their sins): for God is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.’ [Surah Al-Mumtahina (Q60:12)].” Aisha said: “Whoever among the believing women agreed to that had passed the test, and when the women agreed to that, the Messenger of Allah said to them: ‘Go, for you have given your oath of allegiance.’ No, by Allah, the hand of the Messenger of Allah never touched the hand of any woman, rather they would give their oath of allegiance in words only.” When he had taken their oath of allegiance he would say, “I have accepted your oath of allegiance verbally.”

The hadeeth alone is sufficient to deter and install the obedience required of us by Allah. It is also not permissible to shake hands even with a barrier in between such as a garment and the like. Any hadith narrated allowing that is weak, for the Prophet of Allah said in another hadeeth, “I do not shake hands with women.” In simple terms, it is not permissible for a man to touch a woman’s face or hands in any way even if there is no risk of desire because it is haram in principle. The fuqaha also added that it is haram to touch a non-mahram woman even if that is not touching parts of her body that are not ‘awrah’ such as the face. The prohibition of touching is much stringer that the prohibition of looking and it is haram where there is no necessity. In case like medical treatment, if there is no woman to do it then it is permissible since it is a case of necessity.

Some Muslims would feel embarrassed or weird when in a situation where the opposite gender, friends or fellow-students or colleagues at work or even your boss or in business meetings offer to shake hands and feel like you have no choice. These are not acceptable excuses for Allah is not ashamed of the truth. As a Muslim you should overcome the feelings and whispers of Shaytan and be strong in the faith of Allah. Just apologize politely and explain that the reason we are not allowed to shake hands with the opposite gender and are teachings of Islam, in most cases it will earn you respect from others. There is no harm done if they find it strange at first, trust me they get used to it and it is practical Da’wah. Remember you cannot please other people rather than pleasing your Almighty.

I’m not only writing this as a reminder or what we encounter in our daily lives but to show you it’s quite easy. I meet up with different people every single day and at first some feel offended or its rude but they get used to it even though if some don’t understand why or are against it, they end up respecting it. It also gives a sense of respect ladies, it creates an immediate boundary with men and they learn to respect you. Not crossing a certain line. Muslim men respect your fellow sisters in Islam and obey Allah too don’t go touching and shaking hands with every lady Muslim or not you see.

May we find it in our hearts to follow Allah’s commands and Our Prophets teachings In Sha Allah.

And Allah knows best.