Bismillah ir-rahman ir-rahim
Assalam alaikum warahmatullah wabarakatu
The very first relationship of a human being is the child-parent relation, not your cousins or friends or the 'bffs' no, its your parents, the first blood relative. And they are of great importance even in our society (in a way) there are these special days to honor and appreciate them. There is the Father's Day, Mother's Day and I also came across Grandmother's Day and Grandfather's Day. So with all these and children making effort on such occasions to at least get some gift or card is something but just a single day a year to appreciate your parent doesn't make much sense to me. Obviously a child(ren) should love, obey and respect the parent everyday of each year.
As much as the Qur'an is a Miracle and a Guide for mankind, even parents have been mentioned with their rights and treatment. Allah (Subhanahu wa ta'ala) asks human beings to recognize their parents after recognition of Allah Himself. How high is that Subhana Allah, after Allah. Now throughout the Qur'an parents have been mentioned with respect even if they are senile and it's such a great honor for parents' significance to be recognized right from Allah's words, its truly special.
In Surah Al-Isra (Q17:23-24) Allah says: "Your Lord had decreed, that you worship none save Him, and (that you show) kindness to parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age with you, say not "Uff" unto them nor repulse them, but speak unto them a gracious word. And lower unto them the wing of submission through mercy, and say: My Lord! Have mercy on them both, as they did care for me when I was young."
The recognition and respect to parents is mentioned in the Qur'an eleven times, and in every instance, Allah reminds children to recognize and to appreciate the care and love they have received from their parents. It is in this same verse that is mentioned the importance of supplication that every Muslim is supposed to make for his/her parent. Upbringing of a child is not easy and every parent is afflicted with some sort of hardship, its not a smooth ride to be all grown up no! no! no! it took care, love, humility, patience and a lot of it and kindness to nurture you. And trust me you can not repay them for all they did, however every child should pray to Allah for their well-being in this world and the hereafter.
The recognition and respect to parents is mentioned in the Qur'an eleven times, and in every instance, Allah reminds children to recognize and to appreciate the care and love they have received from their parents. It is in this same verse that is mentioned the importance of supplication that every Muslim is supposed to make for his/her parent. Upbringing of a child is not easy and every parent is afflicted with some sort of hardship, its not a smooth ride to be all grown up no! no! no! it took care, love, humility, patience and a lot of it and kindness to nurture you. And trust me you can not repay them for all they did, however every child should pray to Allah for their well-being in this world and the hereafter.
In Surah Al-Nisaa (Q4:36) Allah emphasizes again that children be kind to their parents. "And serve Allah. Ascribe nothing as partner unto Him. Show kindness to your parents..." Parents care and nurture their children their entire lives, but at one point this duty reverses, parents become old and feeble and in need of care themselves. In a hadeeth, it was narrated by Abu Hurairah (RA) that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "When a man (or a woman) dies, all his/her deeds come to an end, except three a) An ongoing charity (Sadaqa tul Jareeya), b) Beneficial knowledge that will keep on helping others and thirdly c) A righteous son/daughter who will pray for his/her (the deceased)." (Muslim). The narration tells us the supplication of a child benefits the parent even in death.
Allah has given yet another example in His book on kind treatment of parents. Allah says of His slave Yahya ibn Zakariyya in Suratul Maryam (Q19:12-15) "O Yahya! Hold fast the scripture [the Tawwrat (Torah)]. And we gave him wisdom while yet a child. And made him sympathetic to men as a mercy from Us, and pure from sins (i.e Yahya) and he was a righteous man. And dutiful towards his parents, and he was neither arrogant nor disobedient (to Allah or his parents). Peace be upon him the day he was born, and the day he dies, and the Day he raises back to life."
Ibn Jareer al-Tabari (may Allah have mercy on him) said: Here Allah says: "And dutiful towards his parents" meaning that he was quick to obey them, loving towards them and not disobedient. "And he was neither arrogant nor disobedient" - here Allah tells us that he was not too proud to obey Allah or his parents, rather he was humble and submissive towards Allah and his parents, doing what he was forbidden to him: he neither disobeyed his Lord nor his parents. In a hadeeth Abi Abder Rahman Abdullah bin Massoud (may Allah be pleased with hi) said: "I Asked the prophet 'which deed is more liked by Allah?' He replied, 'Prayers on time.' Then I asked , 'Which one is next?' He said, 'Goodness to parents.' Then I asked, 'Then which one is next?' He said, 'Jihad in the way of Allah.' " In Islam, respect for parents is so great.
Ibn Jareer al-Tabari (may Allah have mercy on him) said: Here Allah says: "And dutiful towards his parents" meaning that he was quick to obey them, loving towards them and not disobedient. "And he was neither arrogant nor disobedient" - here Allah tells us that he was not too proud to obey Allah or his parents, rather he was humble and submissive towards Allah and his parents, doing what he was forbidden to him: he neither disobeyed his Lord nor his parents. In a hadeeth Abi Abder Rahman Abdullah bin Massoud (may Allah be pleased with hi) said: "I Asked the prophet 'which deed is more liked by Allah?' He replied, 'Prayers on time.' Then I asked , 'Which one is next?' He said, 'Goodness to parents.' Then I asked, 'Then which one is next?' He said, 'Jihad in the way of Allah.' " In Islam, respect for parents is so great.
Ahaaa!! and the special moms. Although Islam has clear directives to honor and respect both parents, mothers are given a particular gratitude and respect. In Surah Luqman (Q31:41), "And we have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardships and his weaning is in two years- give thanks to Me and to your parents. Unto me is the final destination." Mothers have a special status in Islam and its evident from the verse itself. Moreover another hadeeth shows how high the status of a mother is in Islam. Abu Hurairah (RA) said: A man came to Allah's Messenger (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and asked, "Which of the people is most deserving of my best companionship?" He, Allah's Messenger said, "Your mother." He asked, "Then who?" He said, "Then your mother." He asked, "Then who?" He said, "Then your mother." He asked, " Then who?" He said, "Then your father." Therefore, the status of a mother is three times more than a father.
And how should we honor our parents? By obeying them, respecting them, praying for them, lowering one's voice in their presence, smiling at them, lowering the wing of humility among them, not showing displeasure towards them, striving to serve them, consulting them, visiting them, offering them gifts, striving to reduce the arguments between them and doing things to calm them down and so many other good deeds you can think of. All these include not travelling without their permission, not starting to eat before they do and if married not showing preference to your wife or child over them. And no matter how your parents treat you, you should follow the good manners describe above and avoid anything that may make them upset or angry or lead you to sin and disobedience towards Allah.
One of the most important acts of worship that a child is asked to do with regard to his parents is to obey them, to as they ask and to refrain from what they tell him not to do. So if a father tells him to do something, he hastens to do what he is told, and if he tells him not to do something, he hastens to give up, so long as that does not involve any disobedience towards Allah and his Messenger. Then he should make du'a for them and pray for forgiveness for them, especially when they grow old and weak and are in need of someone to treat them kindly and take care of their needs. We should also remember not to fall prey into loving our parents we tend to exceed the limits of love and end up doing things to please our parents which are against Allah's wish. But we must remember that our love for Allah should be supreme otherwise we end up committing a sin.
And how should we honor our parents? By obeying them, respecting them, praying for them, lowering one's voice in their presence, smiling at them, lowering the wing of humility among them, not showing displeasure towards them, striving to serve them, consulting them, visiting them, offering them gifts, striving to reduce the arguments between them and doing things to calm them down and so many other good deeds you can think of. All these include not travelling without their permission, not starting to eat before they do and if married not showing preference to your wife or child over them. And no matter how your parents treat you, you should follow the good manners describe above and avoid anything that may make them upset or angry or lead you to sin and disobedience towards Allah.
One of the most important acts of worship that a child is asked to do with regard to his parents is to obey them, to as they ask and to refrain from what they tell him not to do. So if a father tells him to do something, he hastens to do what he is told, and if he tells him not to do something, he hastens to give up, so long as that does not involve any disobedience towards Allah and his Messenger. Then he should make du'a for them and pray for forgiveness for them, especially when they grow old and weak and are in need of someone to treat them kindly and take care of their needs. We should also remember not to fall prey into loving our parents we tend to exceed the limits of love and end up doing things to please our parents which are against Allah's wish. But we must remember that our love for Allah should be supreme otherwise we end up committing a sin.
Our parents are the door to Jannah its either we open it or close it. May Allah guide us all and our parents and set their affairs straight, not all our homes and parents are the same but we pray for them In Sha Allah for Allah is All-Hearing and Most Merciful.
And Allah knows best.
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