THE UNLAWFUL TOUCH

Bismillah ir-rahman ir-rahim

Assalam alaykum warahmatullah wabarakatu

Straight to the point, a man shaking hands with women; it’s not permissible at all period. It is forbidden for a man who believes in Allah and His Messenger to put his hands in the hands of women (who is not one of his mahrams) who ever does this has sinned. It is haram. Among evidence for this is the hadith of Ma’qal ibn Yassar (RA) who said: “The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, ‘If one of you were to be struck in the head with an iron needle, it would be better for him than if he were to touch a woman he is not allowed to.’” (Classed as Sahih). Let’s think for a second men, being stuck in the head with an iron needle can’t even imagine the pain it’s supposed to be. Then stay away from touching women. There is no doubt it is strictly forbidden for a man to touch a non-mahram woman. First it is a cause of fitnah (temptation), provocation of desires and haraam deeds. No one should say that their intention is sound or their heart is clean, no! The purest of hearts and the most chaste of all our beloved Prophet never touched a non-mahram woman, even when accepting the oath of allegiance from them. He did not hold hands with them as he did with men; their allegiance was by words. In a narration by Aisha (RA), the wife of the Prophet said: “When the believing women migrated to the Messenger of Allah, they would be tested in accordance with the words of Allah: ‘O Prophet! When believing women come to you to give you Bay’ah (pledge or allegiance, that they will not associate anything in worship with Allah, that they will not steal, that they will not commit illegal intercourse that they will not kill their children, that they not utter slander, intentionally forging falsehood, and that they will not disobey you in any just matter - then you receive their fealty, and pray to God for the forgiveness (of their sins): for God is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.’ [Surah Al-Mumtahina (Q60:12)].” Aisha said: “Whoever among the believing women agreed to that had passed the test, and when the women agreed to that, the Messenger of Allah said to them: ‘Go, for you have given your oath of allegiance.’ No, by Allah, the hand of the Messenger of Allah never touched the hand of any woman, rather they would give their oath of allegiance in words only.” When he had taken their oath of allegiance he would say, “I have accepted your oath of allegiance verbally.”

The hadeeth alone is sufficient to deter and install the obedience required of us by Allah. It is also not permissible to shake hands even with a barrier in between such as a garment and the like. Any hadith narrated allowing that is weak, for the Prophet of Allah said in another hadeeth, “I do not shake hands with women.” In simple terms, it is not permissible for a man to touch a woman’s face or hands in any way even if there is no risk of desire because it is haram in principle. The fuqaha also added that it is haram to touch a non-mahram woman even if that is not touching parts of her body that are not ‘awrah’ such as the face. The prohibition of touching is much stringer that the prohibition of looking and it is haram where there is no necessity. In case like medical treatment, if there is no woman to do it then it is permissible since it is a case of necessity.

Some Muslims would feel embarrassed or weird when in a situation where the opposite gender, friends or fellow-students or colleagues at work or even your boss or in business meetings offer to shake hands and feel like you have no choice. These are not acceptable excuses for Allah is not ashamed of the truth. As a Muslim you should overcome the feelings and whispers of Shaytan and be strong in the faith of Allah. Just apologize politely and explain that the reason we are not allowed to shake hands with the opposite gender and are teachings of Islam, in most cases it will earn you respect from others. There is no harm done if they find it strange at first, trust me they get used to it and it is practical Da’wah. Remember you cannot please other people rather than pleasing your Almighty.

I’m not only writing this as a reminder or what we encounter in our daily lives but to show you it’s quite easy. I meet up with different people every single day and at first some feel offended or its rude but they get used to it even though if some don’t understand why or are against it, they end up respecting it. It also gives a sense of respect ladies, it creates an immediate boundary with men and they learn to respect you. Not crossing a certain line. Muslim men respect your fellow sisters in Islam and obey Allah too don’t go touching and shaking hands with every lady Muslim or not you see.

May we find it in our hearts to follow Allah’s commands and Our Prophets teachings In Sha Allah.

And Allah knows best.