TYPES OF FRIENDS MENTIONED IN THE QUR'AN

Bismillah ir-rahman ir-rahim

Assalam alaykum warahmatullah wabrakatu

By Ustadh Nouman Ali Khan

The Prophet of Allah (peace and blessing be upon him) said: “A person depends on their religion of their friends. So watch out each of you whom you make a friend.” In other words, it doesn’t matter if you are knowledgeable or righteous or religious or not, your downfall will not come from you necessarily but from your friend. So it is one of the most essential things in religion: Whom you make friends with.

The first term used in the Qur’an for a friend is,

QAREEN- A friend with whom you have a lot in common and spend most time with, he emails you or texts you when there is a game or a party in some club. And then later when you realize they are unpleasing to Allah and you don’t want to do such things any more. Your qareen makes that call and asks you to join him for some drinks and you refuse, "No!" or just a "Naah not this time." And they make fun of you and say, “All of a sudden you are righteous? I know how you are, it just last month or two months ago etc.” So then your in Jannah and you remember this moment and the qareen who is by now in hell. And  you have new friends in Jannah and want to see this qareen and the guy is burning in hell. So you say, “I swear by Allah you almost made me trip into the hell fire, I was ALMOST destroyed.” And Allah helped you onto the right path by just saying No!

Qareen can be bad, but when they become bad you should be a Sadeeq but not more of a Qareen too. In Surah As-Saffat (Q37:51-56) Allah says,

قَالَ قَائِلٌ مِنْهُمْ إِنِّي كَانَ لِي قَرِينٌ

“A speaker of them will say: “Verily, I had a companion (in the world)”

Continuation:

يَقُولُ أَئِنَّكَ لَمِنَ الْمُصَدِّقِينَ

52: “Who used to say : Are you among those who bear witness to the truth (of the Message)?”

أَئِذَا مِتْنَا وَكُنَّا تُرَابًا وَعِظَامًا أَئِنَّا لَمَدِينُونَ

53: “ (That) when we die and become dust and bones, shall we indeed (be raised up  to receive reward or punishment (according to our deeds)?”

قَالَ هَلْ أَنْتُمْ مُطَّلِعُونَ

54: “ (The speaker) said: “Will you look down?”

فَاطَّلَعَ فَرَآهُ فِي سَوَاءِ الْجَحِيمِ

55: “So he looked down and saw him in the midst of the Fire.”

قَالَ تَاللَّهِ إِنْ كِدْتَ لَتُرْدِينِ

56: “He said : “By Allah ! You have nearly ruined me.”

KHAZUL- This type of friend is one who shows loyalty until you really need them or rely on them then the true colors show. You think that they are sincere but are actually using you. A Khazul to a human being is Shaytan, he presents such kind of character, his whispers are just a way to get accomplices in hell fire and thus becomes a khazul. He offers you an immediate pleasure like texting someone to do zinah or going to some party, it mostly happens to us at this young age, the age were its easier to loose your humanity (not imaan, humanity). At convenient times he remains with you, but when you in trouble that kind of friend disappears. We should be very careful falling into Shaytan’s net. In Surah Al- Furqan  (Q25:29) says,

لَقَدْ أَضَلَّنِي عَنِ الذِّكْرِ بَعْدَ إِذْ جَاءَنِي وَكَانَ الشَّيْطَانُ لِلْإِنْسَانِ خَذُولً

“He did lead me astray from the Message (of Allah) after it had come to me! Ah! the Evil One is but a traitor to man!”

RAFEEQ- It comes from the name, Mirfaq a pillow you rest on when your tired. A friend with whom you feel relaxed and get comfort in their company. A rafeeq is a friend you can rely on, turn to when you are in the hour of need and offers actual comfort to you when in need. Who is a rafeeq? Allah says, whoever used to obey Allah and his Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) than those are from those to whom Allah showers his favors upon, meaning the prophets, sadiqeed (the confirmers of truth), shuhada (bear witness with their speech to the truth, they live Islam and are not afraid to show), swaliheen (who do good things) and these are all rafeeq. In the end we should find such a friend who is a rafeeq In Surah An- Nisa (Q4:69) Allah says,

مَنْ يُطِعِ اللَّهَ وَالرَّسُولَ فَأُولَئِكَ مَعَ الَّذِينَ أَنْعَمَ اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِمْ مِنَ النَّبِيِّينَ وَالصِّدِّيقِينَ وَالشُّهَدَاءِ وَالصَّالِحِينَ وَحَسُنَ أُولَئِكَ رَفِيقًا

“All who obey Allah and the Messenger are in the company of those on whom is the Grace of Allah,- of the prophets (who teach), the sincere (lovers of Truth), the witnesses (who testify), and the Righteous (who do good): Ah! what a beautiful fellowship!”

WALI- A wali is a protective friend who can watch your back, there to help you when your in trouble. The first wali is Allah then, the Messenger meaning holding on to the Sunnah and the teachings of the Qura’n as a means of protecting us. After the Messenger of Allah the next wali is not only the believers, they are the wali whom we can turn to counselling and protection, they are the believers who establish prayer and pays zakat, meaning Commitment to the Sunnah, Muslims who abide by the laws of Allah. In Surah Al-Baqrah (Q2:257) Allah says,

اللَّهُ وَلِيُّ الَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا يُخْرِجُهُمْ مِنَ الظُّلُمَاتِ إِلَى النُّورِ وَالَّذِينَ كَفَرُوا أَوْلِيَاؤُهُمُ الطَّاغُوتُ يُخْرِجُونَهُمْ مِنَ النُّورِ إِلَى الظُّلُمَاتِ أُولَئِكَ أَصْحَابُ النَّارِ هُمْ فِيهَا خَالِدُون

“Allah is the Protector of those who believe: from the depths of darkness He will lead them forth into light. Of those who reject faith the patrons are evil ones; from light they will lead them forth into the depths of darkness. They will be Companions of the fire, to dwell therein (for ever)”

Note: We are required to be a wali with our siblings, cousins and enemies and to tolerate their misbehavior.

SADDIQ- A genuine friend, who is your friend for your sake and not to get any kind of benefit  from you. The most sincere and will tell you truth even if you don’t like, not like who satisfy you with lies. The one who never gives up on you when  you start making mistakes or fall. Remains in touch with you even if you establish a distance with them because of their honesty. Who supports you at every moment (for the good) and if its bad will tell you like it is. The one who loves you for the sake Allah and will ask you to change if it is wrong. In Surah An-Nisa (Q4:69), Allah says

ومَنْ يُطِعِ اللَّهَ وَالرَّسُولَ فَأُولَئِكَ مَعَ الَّذِينَ أَنْعَمَ اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِمْ مِنَ النَّبِيِّينَ وَالصِّدِّيقِينَ وَالشُّهَدَاءِ وَالصَّالِحِينَ وَحَسُنَ أُولَئِكَ رَفِيقًا

“ And those who obey Allah the Messenger, then they are in the company of those on whom Allah has bestowed His Grace, of the Prophets (who teach), the Sincere (lovers of Truth), the Witnesses (who testify), and the righteous (who do good). And how excellent these companions are!”

KHALEEL- A very close friend. We have an example of Prophet Ibrahim (AS) who was a Khaleel to Allah. And Allah reminds us in his story when he destroyed the idols and he was thrown in fire, he was with no one but Allah. Make those people, a friend who has Taqwa. In Surah An-Nisa (4:125) says,

وَمَنْ أَحْسَنُ دِينًا مِمَّنْ أَسْلَمَ وَجْهَهُ لِلَّهِ وَهُوَ مُحْسِنٌ وَهُوَ مُحْسِنٌ وَاتَّبَعَ مِلَّةَ إِبْرَاهِيمَ حَنِيفًا وَاتَّخَذَ اللَّهُ إِبْرَاهِيمَ خَلِيلًا

“Who can be better in religion than one who submits his whole self to Allah, does good, and follows the way of Abraham the true in Faith? For Allah did take Abraham for a friend.”

HAMEEM- He is one who may or may not be close to you but at least acts like they are, they express their closeness with their actions, they are kind to you, very generous. Allah will say, these friends who used to go all out for each other, they were there for each other, on the Day of Judgement, they wont be even asking for each other. Allah says, “Relationships on the Day of Judgement will be chopped off.” Today you  do what your friends do, your parents tell you not to do this its haram and you say, oh come on now everything is haram? You don’t let me have fun. But on the Day of Judgement these friends wont be anywhere to be seen.

WALIJA- A friend who is a partner in your business, you trust them so much that they are involved in your private matters, they are only supposed to be Muslims, who are strong believers of Allah and known the meaning of 'Amana. They have to be Muslims since they can offer advice from a religious point of view and will not harm you. Allah can be our Walija. He put us in trials to see what role He has in our lives. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) is our Walija according to how much we are acting upon his Sunnah. His Sunnah must be followed in each and every sphere of our life. Finally, if you have Allah and His Messenger as Walija in your life then Allah will let in a true believers as walija in your life. In Surah At-Taubah (Q9:16) Allah says,

َمْ حَسِبْتُمْ أَنْ تُتْرَكُوا وَلَمَّا يَعْلَمِ اللَّهُ الَّذِينَ جَاهَدُوا مِنْكُمْ وَلَمْ يَتَّخِذُوا مِنْ دُونِ اللَّهِ وَلَا رَسُولِهِ وَلَا الْمُؤْمِنِينَ وَلِيجَةً وَاللَّهُ خَبِيرٌ بِمَا تَعْمَلُونَ

“Or do you think that you shall be abandoned (not tested), as though God did not know those among you who strive with might and main, and take none for Walija besides Allah and His Messenger, and the (community of) believers? But God is well-Acquainted with (all) what you do.”

KHADAN- The friend who is attracted to you, nowadays we call them boyfriends and girlfriends, and it is strongly prohibited in Islam. Allah says when you are looking to get married its not only that you are looking for akhdan, some shallow infatuation, its far more to us Muslims, its not something shallow like, oh she’s cute or he’s he has a six pack or is it eight? I’ll marry him, no! Don’t give into these lowly standards and lower than animal standards that has been put into your brains by the media. In Surah An-Nisa (Q4:25) Allah says,

وَمَنْ لَمْ يَسْتَطِعْ مِنْكُمْ طَوْلًا أَنْ يَنْكِحَ الْمُحْصَنَاتِ الْمُؤْمِنَاتِ فَمِنْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُكُمْ مِنْ فَتَيَاتِكُمُ الْمُؤْمِنَاتِ وَاللَّهُ أَعْلَمُ بِإِيمَانِكُمْ بَعْضُكُمْ مِنْ بَعْضٍ فَانْكِحُوهُنَّ بِإِذْنِ أَهْلِهِنَّ وَءَاتُوهُنَّ أُجُورَهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ مُحْصَنَاتٍ غَيْرَ مُسَافِحَاتٍ وَلَا مُتَّخِذَاتِ أَخْدَانٍ فَإِذَا أُحْصِنَّ فَإِنْ أَتَيْنَ بِفَاحِشَةٍ فَعَلَيْهِنَّ نِصْفُ مَا عَلَى الْمُحْصَنَاتِ مِنَ الْعَذَابِ ذَلِكَ لِمَنْ خَشِيَ الْعَنَتَ مِنْكُمْ وَأَنْتَصْبِرُوا خَيْرٌ لَكُمْ وَاللَّهُ غَفُورٌ رَحِيم

“If any of you have not the means wherewith to wed free believing women, they may wed believing girls from among those whom your right hands possess: And Allah has full knowledge about your faith. You are one from another: Wed them with the leave of their owners, and give them their dowers, according to what is reasonable: They should be chaste, not lustful, nor taking paramours when they are taken in wedlock, if they fall into shame, their punishment is half that for free women. This (permission) is for those among you who fear sin; but it is better for you that to practice self-restraint. And Allah is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful.”

Most important thing is that we try to have the best qualities of all these types of friends. Be the one with whom others can find comfort and warmth. And your friends? They should be one that make you straight in Allah’s and the Messenger’s way. The ones that keeps your speech sweet and not encouraging you to be arrogant or have a foul language. That’s them, and you? Are you the influence? Good or bad?

The Prophet of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, “The example of a good companion and bad companion is like that of the seller of musk, and the one who blows the blacksmith’s bellows. So as for the seller of musk then either he will grant you enjoy a pleasant smell from him. As for the one who blows the blacksmith’s bellows then either he will burn your clothes or you will get an offensive smell from him.”

May Allah guide grant us good qualities.

And Allah knows best.