Bismillah ir-rahman ir-rahim
Assalam alaikum warahmatullah wabarakatu
This was a lecture by Ustadh Nouman Ali Khan that has been transcribed In Sha Allah it will be beneficial.
Assalamu'alaikum Wa rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh In Shaa Allahu ta’ala in today’s brief conversation, first of all I’d like to thank the community for inviting me here, it’s a pleasure to be here. May Allah Subhanahu wa taala bless this community, and bless this masjid and keep it full for all the prayers, especially Fajr and Isha. And may Allah fill it with young blood in the mornings and the evenings. Amin Ya Rabb.
Ok, what I wanted to do in this talk with you today is make reference to some ayats that I have talked about before, and I’ve given ‘durus’ on them before but I’ve tried to come at them from different point of view this time. Also what I wanted to do is start from kind of outside the Qur’an, kind of disclaimer. And that is that the concern we have for our children is something built in to our deen. It’s not something we just came up with now. The concern, the worry about the future generation is something that was given to us by our father, Ibrahim AS. And actually, even before him the first time we learned about a concerned father, is Nuh AS. Nuh AS is worried about his son. And even he begs Allah in the case of his son.
So the concern of father has for his child in regards to deen is something that’s built into this deen. It’s a very fundamental part of this religion. And Allah Subhanahu wa taala teaches us something by telling us many-many times about prophets, who had problems with their children. By many times, I mean, Ibrahim AS is blessed with wonderful children. He’s got Ismail, he’s got Ishaq. He’s got wonderful children. Nuh AS, not so much. Yaqub AS, couple of great kids, couple of problem kids, majority problem kids. So you've got even prophets that had troubles with their children. And that's important to know because if even prophets have trouble with their children, there’s no guarantee that you and I, no matter how much we try, we can’t avoid trouble with children. That's from the Qadr from Allah Subhanahu wa taala. Allah will bless some of us with easy children, or some of our children will be easy and some of our children will be a test. And we have to work with all of them. And that’s just a part of this deen. And that’s just a part of life. No two kids are going to be the same. There’s not one formula that deal with all of your children. Like for instance, in the case of Yaqub AS, we don’t believe that he treated Yusuf AS better, and he treated the other kids worse, and that’s why they got that way. He’s a prophet. Obviously one of the first thing prophets do is to live by justice. And that’s not justice that you’re good to one child and you’re not good to another child. We don’t expect that from Yaqub AS, so he did his best as a father but he still had trouble with his children. Alhamdulillah in the end even they made tawbah. And that’s a gift Allah gave him. But Allah also talks about Nuh AS, whose son until the end did not make tawbah. Also just because they are prophet, you would think, you know, when you have a good job, they comes with benefits, like some of you had a good job, and you get health insurance for your whole family, right? So if the prophet’s pretty good job it’s the employer of Allah, maybe should come with some benefits, ‘my family should be guaranteed’. Not even the prophets get a guarantee of their family. Not even the wife, not even the child. And even in the case of Muhammad ar-rasul Allah sal Allahu alaihi wa salam, in one of the most incredible ahadith you find, when he’s talking to his child, he’s talking to the mother of the believers, he’s talking to Fathimah RA, he’s talking to her..and he says; “Ya Fathimah, daughter of Muhammad, watch out for Allah, be careful about Allah. I will not be able to help you. I will have no authority even in your case in front of Allah Subhanahu wa taala” He’s telling this to his own daughter, Sal Allahu wa Alaihi wa Salam.
In other words, he’s teaching us something very important. Just because we are Muslim, and just because we’re doing our best, we cannot doubt that the messenger of Allah, Sal Allahu wa Alaihi wa Salam, does anything sort of the best, He’s the role model of all fathers in the future. Especially fathers of daughters. Those of us that are sitting in this audience and have daughters, we are obliged, we are honoured, to be the continuation of the prophet’s Sunnah because he was also the father of daughter we were raised. He had son also but they died in early age. But Allah gave him the gift of daughter, multiple daughters that he had the pleasure of raising all this time. So this is something that we should take honour in. That’s why our view of having a daughter is changed.
Before Islam, in India for example, the culture of having daughter, the culture of having daughter even in Arabia, when you had a daughter, you made a face like ‘Huh..oh man, how am I gonna face the community now?’. Even to this day in a Muslim world, even in some of your families..you’re at the hospital with your wife, she almost died giving birth and then the child came out and immediately your mother sends the text message to the husband. “Is it good news?”. ‘Is it good news’ means, ‘is it a boy’?” And then you don't respond and she goes ‘Ok, next time in sha Allah.’ As though a girl is such a bad thing SubhanAllah! How far we’ve come.. And Allah actually complains in the Qur’an about people who don’t honour their daughters. That when the daughter is born, “His face turns dark. Like a cloud is hanging over his face..He’s depressed, ‘I just had a daughter’” SubhanAllah..
So before we talk about worrying our kids, we have to worry about what are we like as a parents. We have to deal with that first. And that’s a pretty big problem we have to deal with. But that’s not even the disclaimer I wanted to start with. The disclaimer I wanted to start with is, that I was saying before is concern for our children is built into our religion. It’s a very fundamental aspect of our deen. And it is something that a generation after generation of Muslims, we’re very good at. Alhamdulillah we’re very very good at raising children for generation after generation, after generation. Obviously the world has changed since the time of prophet Sal Allahu wa Alaihi wa Salam. But something, the success the Muslims have had in raising their children relatively has been great.
Until now. Something is changed in the world, so drastically, that it’s effected not just how governments are run, it has not just effected the economy works, it hasn’t just effected the nation deal with each other, it hasn’t just effected the industry, it’s also effected what happen inside the house. Not just the Muslim’s house, every house. The world has changed dramatically. What the family looks like now, it never looked like in human history. How children are raised now, it never looked like this in any human history in any culture. Not just Muslim’s culture, in any culture. Globalization and the advance of mass communication and on top of that the invention of the extreme form of consumerism. I don't even say the capitalism, I say the consumerism. That we’ve become just addicted customers of products. That mentality has made itself even inside our home.
To be continued...
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